Ask Me, Again
by Kaeru Shisho
Summary: This is the third in a completed series of 5 stories which are AU pure romance focusing on Xelloss and Zelgadiss in high school. Next, please look for the continuation in 'Say it, Sometime.'
1. Part 1

**_Ask Me, Again_**

(This story is the third story in the 'Remind Me, Now' series. It follows the 'Tell Me, Now' story.)

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

**Part 1**

* * *

"I love you Xelloss." 

"Hmmm, I love you too, Baby."

The night of the final performance and the cast party came at last. Zelgadiss had dropped Xelloss at the school hours early, as required, then made sure that Daemon was dressed nicely before walking him out to the car and stowing his small overnight bag in the back seat of his car.

"You're certainly excited tonight. Sit still so I can hook the seatbelt for you,' Zel admonished his little charge.

"I've never been in the front seat with you and I like to be out late at night with all the lights and I get to see daddy act and I get to stay at mmm…grandmother's tonight!" Daemon recited for Zel's benefit.

"All right. You do have several things to be excited about, but you must control yourself in the car now while I'm driving, all right? Thank you."

After parking, he helped Daemon out and smiled down at the little boy grasping his hand. He felt much older and not a little proud. In fact, he was surprised at the depth of feeling that rushed over him. Was that love? Yes, he did love this little boy, who was his boyfriend's son. It was as if he'd gained a brother along with a boyfriend when he be-friended Xelloss.

Inside the theater, he looked around for his grandfather. Zelas had volunteered to drive Eris and Rezo this evening, then baby-sit Daemon, whom she had missed terribly.

Zel noticed a hush spread from the doorway. There was his grandfather with a lovely lady on each arm. Oh. Whispers. The great Red Priest of the White Shrine rarely made appearances outside the shrine since his blindness, and now… here he was with two women, one a high order Mazouku.

Zel waved them over and politely greeted them. Together, they entered the theater and took their seats: Rezo between the women, Zelgadiss on the end beside Daemon, who was wedged between his grandmother and Zel. Val, with Filia's baby brother loped over and sat on Zel's other side with Gourry, his brother Joey, Sylphiel and Amelia joining to fill out the row.

"I can't see!" Daemon said in a loud whisper to Zel.

"Don't worry. You can sit on my lap when the play begins, all right? So, Joey, where did you lose your sisters?" Zel chuckled.

"Back there, at the door. They didn't want to sit this far back, thank the Gods. They are so annoying. There, see them? Up near the front where they can coo over Xelloss, probably," Joey sniggered.

The lights dimmed and the audience fell silent. The play began. Zel smiled as he watched Xelloss obsess over Filia. Filia was more conniving and less innocent, Zel thought, in her interpretation of the young Juliet's motivations. He couldn't fault his boyfriend's performance; he was an agile swordsman, a guiless lover, and in the end a tragic figure. Nuriko and Duo were unimportant players that Zel chose to ignore. At the end of the performance, the audience stood for an encore. Bouquets of roses were handed out to the leads and single flowers to the lesser roles.

Zel could hardly wait to leave. He was nervous a hell. After a wait of about ten minutes, the cast and crew poured into the hallway outside of theater to greet their parents and friends. Xelloss had to plow through the crowd to find Zel, friends and family. Zelgadiss held Daemon up out of the fray, passing him to his father, then stepping back to allow Xelloss to greet the others. He'd have all night to visit.

Zelas finally urged the other adults to leave, taking Daemon's hand, "Zelgadiss, dear, are his overnight things in your car or at home?"

"Car, glad you reminded me. I'll walk you all out. Xelloss, hear that? All right, you're coming too? Good idea, you need to say goodnight to Daemon. You won't be seeing him until late Sunday," Zel smiled.

"Why?" Xelloss looked confused.

"Well, that's a secret…" Zel smiled smugly and left the building behind Rezo.

"Okay, Zel, what's up?" Xelloss smiled at his friend as they walked back to join the cast party. Zelgadiss in charge was something new, different, intriguing and right now bugging the hell out of him.

"Oh, just a little holiday for us," Zel's eyes glittered with repressed excitement.

"Sounds nice," Xelloss smiled and wrapped an arm over Zel's shoulders as they entered the noisy party. "You are getting tricky these days."

"I think I've learned from the resident expert," Zel smirked.

Inside, they separated for awhile. Zelgadiss found Val who was allowing Filia to roam free as well. They poured themselves punch and watched the other kids, sometimes joining in a passing conversation. Sometimes his eyes would skim the group until they landed on Xelloss. He was beautiful, seductive, and mysterious. The Mazouku priest moved gracefully with loose limbs, and wiggled every once in a while. His laughter cut through the racket of the other kids, aiming straight for Zel's heart. Val followed Zel's glance.

"Sexy, huh?" Val grinned.

"W-what?"

"Yer boyfriend. Looks like he's got plenty of admirers too, but I can tell he's not in love with anyone but you."

"I wouldn't know," Zel blushed.

"Oh, sure ya would. He smiles, hugs, gives those little 'peck' kisses, but when he's lookin' at you…his eyes change, like he's tryin' to swallow ya whole each time," Val chuckled.

Zel turned away embarrassed, "I could say the same about you and Filia, but…"

"But yer know I wouldn't mind, that what ya mean? Wouldn't be a fair fight, huh? Well, ya don't haveta be ashamed of being the lover of a hunk like him, ya know?"

"B-but...I'm not!" Zel blurted out, then blushed over his previous one. "It's not…"

"So he's in love with ya and not just for the sex, is that it? Shit. Damn. What a lotta guys wouldn't give for that honor… You are one lucky dude, 'course with your money…" Val tested those waters too.

"Stop it!" Zel hissed. "Money has nothing to do with us, got it? Val, give me some credit here, all right? There's more to me than my bank account, although I can't figure out what he finds so attractive about me. He has his own money, that's all…" Zel was getting defensive and forgot his logical argument.

Val chuckled, "Shit, Zel, I know. That's why ya got us as friends. I was just wonderin' if you'd thought about him and the money thing. He's older, I don't know him, and I was thinkin' that he might be a hustler. He's very smooth."

Zel shook his head, "He has a history and I know it. It's all right. Thanks for caring, Val."

Val nodded and stepped back to the table for another pass at the cookies.

Zel's attention was alerted by the sound of Nuriko's voice not far off. He was laughing and made a grab for Xelloss, pulling him down onto his lap and holding him firmly in place.

"So don't YOU think I would have made a far more suitable 'Juliet' than Filia?" Nuriko crooned, petting Xelloss's hair intimately.

Zelgadiss felt anger boil up from deep inside. Why would Nuriko do that now, in front of him? He could see Zel standing there too! Hadn't Xelloss talked to him yet? Probably not! This was _exactly_ the kind of thing he didn't want to be involved in. Damn Xelloss for letting this happen anyway!

"Sorry, Nuriko, but you're not exactly the 'Juliet' I had in mind," Xelloss said lightly, pushing off the wandering hands and hopping to his feet.

Filia, having sensed the rising tension, waltzed over to Xelloss and taking each of his wrists in her hands, wrapped his arms around her waist. "How about me, huh? Am I 'Juliet' enough for ya?" she giggled.

"Ah, as lovely as you _both_ are, _neither _one of you are the _one_ I had in mind," he smiled engagingly.

Joining in the fun-- for no one seemed cognizant of the undercurrent of hostility emanating from the jilted Nuriko, but Zelgadiss-- several other kids, girls and boys, questioned his heart and gave him prankish hugs. Xelloss chuckled, but moved relentlessly towards Zelgadiss.

When he was about a foot away, Xelloss turned to face Zel, and smiled warmly. "Ah! Now, can you all hear me! **I** have found my one true love, my heart, my _one and only_…" Before the astonished Zel could respond, Xelloss drew him up into a deep and passionate kiss.

"Hope you were expecting that," Xelloss whispered into Zel's ear. "Or did I just embarrass you beyond forgiveness?"

"Ah…I'll get over it," Zel replied breathlessly. "Although, I don't think many of these guys have seen two boys kissing before, so why don't we hold off the rest for later?"

"Okay, sure," Xelloss smiled and let out his breath. "I really meant what I said too. I wanted everyone to hear it from my lips first hand… it's how I feel about you and no one else. And…I can't stop smiling now and looking at you. It's like I'm crazy, yes that's it! I'm crazy about you and I can't keep my eyes off of you."

Zelgadiss blushed and looked down, "Er…um…just watch the hands…"

Xelloss laughed and pulled Zel closer, snuggling heads together. "I'm ready to go. Give me a minute to change back into my street clothes, then…I REALLY want to know where we're going!"

He only took half a minute.

His acting teacher, who wished to congratulate Xelloss again on his fine performance, interrupted them on their way out. "Leaving so soon? Well, I hope you'll try out for the spring musical, Xelloss. Pick up the practice script on the way out. Look it over. Tryouts are the week after break. Do you taking acting classes?"

Zelgadiss shook his head, "No. I'm in the science and math AP classes. I'm really satisfied just being his audience."

It was the teacher's turn to smile, "I know who you are, Zelgadiss Greywords. Your grandfather is the head priest at my shrine. You're just a very good actor, that's all. No one but your closest friends would have guessed that you were _gay_, until this evening."

Zel blushed and nodded. Xelloss said something polite to the teacher, picked up a script and walked hand in hand with Zelgadiss out to the car.

"Feeling okay, Zel?"

"Yes. No. I'll live, Xelloss. I'll get used to it. I don't know how you _do _it, Xelloss! Let everyone know that you're a homosexual and not flinch or become ashamed it or… why doesn't any one give you a hard time about it?"

"I'm Mazouku, Zel. I'll show you how to believe in yourself and not let the bad feelings of others defeat you. I'm really proud of how you reacted tonight. Instead of pushing me away and denying 'us' you let me kiss you and all. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world right then, do you know that? Do you have _any _idea what I mean?"

Zel smiled as they snapped into their seatbelts and he started the car. "I have an idea, Xelloss."

"Ask me, Zel. Please, ask me, again who I'm madly in love with!" Xelloss said, suddenly his voice sounding needy and his demeanor becoming demanding—an odd combination for the self-assured young man.

"Who, _me_?" Zel smirked. "Um, I … need to focus on my driving right now. The roads are slick and we have about two hours of it ahead of us. When we get to…where we'll be staying, we can talk more, all right?" Zel asked.

The next time he glanced over at Xelloss, he was asleep, head resting against his rolled up jacket pressed to the door. Zel pulled up into the parking space at the ski lodge and hesitated. He didn't want to wake him, but he didn't want to leave to check in and have him awaken in a strange place. His hair was mussed, clothes rumpled, definitely not the smooth operator Val had spoken about. Zel pushed a stray lock out of his face and leaned in for a kiss. One fleeting kiss. Xelloss' eyelids fluttered and his jewel-like purple eyes focused on his best friend.

"Are we here? Brrr… it's cold. Oh…my… snow…" Xelloss smiled. Even in the dark, the outside lights from the lodge shone in golden reflections on the soft snowy patches.

"Yeah, they're light on it this year, but it is cold. Put on your jacket while I grab our bags," Zel said.

They skipped to the front door and rang the bell at the desk. A sleepy-eyed kid came from a back room. "Yeah?"

"We have reservations. For Greywords? I had called to say we'd be here after midnight, sorry if we awakened you," Zel said.

"Yeah, you did. It's okay and sorry if I was rude. I was dropping off to sleep just as you came in. Nice car, any trouble with roads coming up?" The desk clerk's blurry vision came into focus, and so did Zel.

"No. The road was clear, not even ice. Must be pretty dry this winter?" Zel noted.

"You're right about that. Luckily, the slopes are groomed and everything's running great, so if you're here for the skiing then you'll have a blast." The tired clerk's eyes lingered upon Xelloss a little too long. He smiled and straightened his tie.

"Yes, we hope to in the morning. I called ahead to reserve rental equipment and clothes. Where do I get those things, or can they be delivered in the morning to our room?" Zel asked.

"I'll check. Yeah, says here…I'll have the clothes sent up by 9:00 AM and store the boots and skis down here. Will that be okay? Good, then if you want, breakfast is from 7 to 11. Here are your keys, the rooms are up stairs and to your left. Would you like me to carry your baggage?"

This time, as he reached for a bag, his eyes scanned Zelgadiss greedily and brushed his arm lightly. "Looks like your _friend_ is beat. You can come on back after you've settled in…for a drink…" he said suggestively.

But the suggestion flew way over Zel's head that night.

"No, thanks. We can manage. Hope_ you_ can get some rest now,' Zel said. He found Xelloss nodding off in a comfortable chair. "Come on, party-dude. Let's get you to bed."

Zel woke up and looked over at the clock, 4:00 AM. He had to pee and the room was cool, so he got up and turned up the heater, then stumbled to the bathroom to relieve himself.

When he got back to bed, Xelloss was sitting up rubbing his eyes. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Ski lodge. Go back to sleep."

"Oh. Where were you?"

"Bathroom, Xelloss, now go back to sleep," Zel said more sharply than he had intended.

"I'm in my clothes?" Xelloss asked puzzling over his state of complete dress.

"I took off your shoes, at least. I went in to change and brush my teeth and you crashed on the bed. I stuffed you under the covers and that's was that. Now, we still have hours of sleep time to go," Zel nagged.

Actually, he thought Xelloss looked quite cute, like a mussy teddy bear. He was wearing Zel's clothes, and had since they'd returned from Innsbruck with a change of underwear and a couple things for Daemon. The shirts, loose on Zel, fit Xelloss perfectly, but the pants were on the snug side. As a result, Xelloss often skipped the underwear. Zel noticed when he did too, finding the thought extremely distracting at times.

Right now, however, he was too foggy-brained to care what Xelloss had on. In fact, he was staring without thinking as Xelloss unzipped the pants, and tossed them away with a foot.

"I can't see the buttons, can you help?" Xelloss wined plaintively.

"Ah…" Zel leaned in and quickly un-did the buttons. He was vibrantly aware of Xelloss warm skin beneath his fingertips. A sudden warmth flushed over his entire body. He shivered in the still too-cool air.

"You're shaking," Xelloss whispered.

"Must be c-cold," Zel stuttered in reply, raising his eyes to meet his friend's.

"Uh, huh, or you're coming down with the flu?" Xelloss smiled. He wasted no time bantering barbs of word play. Instead, he placed a hand on either side of Zel's head, held him steady, the crushed their lips together. The kiss seared with the heat of their combined passion. Xelloss broke the kiss long enough to roll Zel onto his back and pull the covers over them.

He winked at Zel's breathless confusion, then launched another attack, pinning him down beneath his body. Xelloss invaded Zel's mouth with his tongue. Zelgadiss was on sensory overload. He had no idea what to do, except kiss back, or where to put his hands, so he placed them on Xelloss. One hand caressed his friend's clothed, warm back. Xelloss still had on his shirt, open in front, so that was safe. Nice back. The other hand landed on Xelloss' bare butt. When Zel heard his friend gasp in surprise, or pleasure, he immediately scooted it up to join the other hand. That was a bit too bold a maneuver for Zel to handle well, though, and his heart rate shot up ten-fold.

Meanwhile, Xelloss had a hand under Zel's shirt, rubbing gently everything he could reach. His fingers settled on Zel's left nipple, where they teased him to arousal. As soon as Xelloss felt that, he ground his hips into Zel suggestively.

Zel felt Xelloss' hard arousal rub against his own and began to panic for real. He let out a little 'yelp!' stiffened and jerked out from under Xelloss' torso.

"Hey! Zel, it's okay. I didn't mean to force you into anything babe! I just… I just loved the way you felt there. Calm down, its okay. Hey, babe, listen… Do you trust me? You do, don't you? How long have we been sleeping together? Lots, huh? And I haven't earned your trust yet? Okay, that's better," Xelloss said soothingly. Zel lay as stiff as a cold, marble statue.

When he felt Zel wasn't going to run away, he tore off his shirt and slithered around Zel's back, snuggling and hold him tightly. As Zel relaxed more, Xelloss began to talk again.

"I forget, baby, sometimes what it was like for me when I was, well lots younger than you and totally unprepared for sex. It was kinda thrust upon me before I was ready and… I was scared too. Everyone would tell me how 'good' it felt and how much they wanted me and how 'good' I was. But it wasn't. It was messy and looked stupid and seemed nasty…and sometimes it hurt."

Zelgadiss turned around to face Xelloss. It was hard to imagine Xelloss as a novice. It made him feel better to know Xelloss understood. "I feel so stupid, Xelloss. Doesn't every guy want to jump into bed with…well, someone? Half the kids at school seem to talk of nothing else! And here I am with the hottest looking guy on at least two continents and…I just reject you. But…but I love you, Xelloss!"

Xelloss smiled. "That's a good start. Talking to me. So…what _do_ you like about me, hmmm?"

Zel felt his confidence rise. He could talk. No problem. "Um, I was thinking that you looked cute when I walked in from the bathroom…wearing my clothes and a mess, especially your hair…"

"Cute, huh?" Xelloss beamed. "You just called me hot _and_ cute. Wow. Messy…you like messy?"

"Well, not usually, but…" Zel pulled Xelloss down into a long tender kiss. "That's…all right, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," Xelloss chuckled as he rubbed noses. "You've got that down pat, baby. _Everything_ you do makes me feel good. Although…" he yawned.

Zel smiled and drew Xelloss' arm around his shoulder and turned his back to him. "'Night Xelloss."

"Hmmm, love you Zel."

The next morning, they dressed quickly and ran down the hall to the dining room. Famished, they both ate hearty breakfasts, then checked at the desk for the ski conditions. The young man with the late-night desk duty was not there. Instead, a perky young woman who reminded Zel of Amelia answered their questions.

Everything was set. They rushed back to their room to await their clothes delivery and turned on the TV. Xelloss hopped up again to use the bathroom.

Zel flipped channels letting his mind unwind a little. Unaware that he was doing it, had had picked up Xelloss' much-worn shirt from the night before and held it to his face, like a child might grip a security blanket.

When Xelloss quietly came out of the bathroom—he never closed bathroom doors all the way out of habit—he paused before leaping onto the couch beside his friend. 'What have we here?' he thought to himself then smiled.

Aloud he said, "I wasn't gone that long was I?" and giggled as he plopped alongside Zel. "Hey, what's with this, huh?" He smiled and tugged at his shirt.

Zel blushed and loosened his grip, "Ah… i-it was on the floor."

"You'll have to do better than that or I'll think you have a smelly-sweaty-shirt fetish or something!" Xelloss chuckled. Teasing his friend was fun too. So fun!

"Oh…" Zel thought a bit then sighed. "One night when you were out late and Daemon couldn't sleep, I had one of my…_your_ dirty shirts in my hand to put it away… You know, _your_ shot into the laundry basket could use some improvement," Zel nudged him.

"Yeeeeeess?" Xelloss nudged back.

"Daemon held it a little saying it made him think of you and fell right to sleep. Anyway…I must have been a bit lonely myself so I put it on and wore it to bed," Zel said in a rush of words. He studied the TV, fearing the laugh attack coming his way.

"Really?" Xelloss smiled. Making that admission had to have cost his friend a great deal of pride, and Xelloss felt his heart warm. "Zel, why didn't you tell me that then? I thought you liked spending time with Val and Gourry and were happy not to be under the same roof with me most of the time. All you needed to do was ask me to come home sooner; well… and not have your nose stuck in a book all the time."

Zel nodded and hid his face on his bent up knees. His voice was muffled when he finally spoke again. "I don't like it when you keep pushing for…sex all the time, or so it seemed to me then. AND, I _did_ like seeing my other friends, but I'm only really happy when I'm with you. _And _you were…with Nuriko. I really hated that guy because of the way he'd flaunt himself around you…and that you liked it, I know. You didn't break off with him, did you? He just found out…at the party…tonight…in front of everyone…"

Xelloss shrugged. Oh well… So what?

"And I thought_ I _was heartless. You've made an enemy of him now," Zel warned.

Xelloss shrugged. "I've told you, he was nothing to me, but I can tell I hurt _you _more than I thought. I've never been 'true' to anyone before, or _tried _to so it's a change for me as well. This is nice, isn't it? Just sharing our feelings like this?"

"You're the only one I can talk to about things…things I don't even want to think about sometimes but need to get off my chest," Zel agreed. "If it wasn't for you and Daemon, I'd die of loneliness, I think. Not of being alone! I can always be with others, but of…" he searched for the right word a second or two, "…forlornness that comes with the kind of depressed solicitude I'd choose otherwise."

Xelloss wrapped an arm around his shoulder and rested his head over Zel's heart wordlessly. He let Zel continue to speak uninterrupted.

"After my parents died, I slept every night with the sweater she'd just taken off moments before the collision. Lair Du Temps. She wore that perfume and I could smell it on her sweater."

Zel's eyes welled up at the painful memory and had to clear his throat before going on. "I've really liked seeing you in my clothes. Each morning I'd get up and get dressed and…I couldn't wait to see what you'd choose! My stuff looked so much better on you!"

"Oh, I see…especially the tight pants, eh?" Xelloss raised his eyebrows, glad the mood was lightening a bit.

"Gods, Xelloss!" Zel blushed again and rolled his eyes. "I was opening up and being serious here."

"I know," Xelloss replied quietly. "I'm really sorry about your parents, Zel. It's the kind of loss that hurts forever, huh?"

"Maybe. It's gets less and less over time. My mother was…beautiful and kind."

Xelloss sat up and pulled Zel onto his chest then moved around to kiss him gently. "Then you must take after her, Zel. You treat Daemon with patience, understanding… and kindness, and you're quite attractive. See? I didn't say beautiful, _gorgeous,_ maybe, but not … Hey!" he laughed as Zel pounded him with a couch pillow.

A pounding at the door stopped their playful fighting. Their ski clothes had arrived. Zel dressed in the bathroom, leaving Xelloss the room to himself. Xelloss tapped at the door. "You can come out now. I'm ready!"

Zel muttered something, but opened the door, ready as well. "Let's go get our skis and test the slopes!"

* * *

End. Ask Me, Again Part 1. 


	2. Part 2

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 02 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

Zel muttered something, but opened the door, ready as well. "Let's go get our skis and test the slopes!"

"Zel?" 

"What?"

"You looked like you were going to say something else, that's all," Xelloss said encouragingly.

Zelgadiss nodded and raised his large solemn, cerulean-colored eyes to Xelloss. "I've been thinking…yes, as usual over analyzing my life, but…here goes…I might not be gay, nor straight…maybe something in the middle. I don't like to use a label like 'gay' because labels stick to you. I know kids like categorizing one another…labeling this one 'cute', another a jock, a nerd, you know. When I hear the term 'gay' I think of outlandish behavior and dirty stuff, sex in men's rooms, diseases…I don't think of what _we_ have together. So, I think that I just need to be Zel…who happens to love you," he said shyly. 

Zel then leaned closer and kissed his boyfriend. "And you look…so beautiful it hurts…but I wasn't sure I should tell you that and give you a big head before we go out there where everyone will be looking at you."

Xelloss smiled frozen in place. "Wow. You keeping saying the most marvelous things, honest things. No one, I mean, NO one has ever said stuff like that to me before. You are such a romantic, and I adore it, _and_ you! _Especially_ you! But…you're gay, label or no…and it's my goal to change how you've been taught to think about gay males," he grinned impishly and rubbed his hand across Zel's arm sending tingles through his body. "We better get going…" he added in a husky voice that sent shivers through Zel to his inner core.

The skiing was terrific. The fresh air, the sparkly snow crystals, and most of all the exercise. They took a break for lunch, Xelloss insisted. There was a snack bar close to the lifts where boots and poles were part of the dress code. They wolfed down burgers and fries and milkshakes in a matter of minutes, paused long enough for bathroom breaks, then were back careening down the slippery slopes until it was too dark to see.

Xelloss watched Zel turn in their rental equipment, then snatching up his free hand before he could take it away, said, "This has been really fun. Thank you for surprising me with all this, Zel."

It was clear that Xelloss was very touched. Zel nodded, brimming with excitement.

"Dinner?" Zel asked.

"Yeah, but don't we have to get back? Isn't there school tomorrow?" Xelloss asked.

"Yes, but let's eat and shower, change clothes and stuff first…in that order," Zel said, hoping Xelloss would agree.

"Sure! After that workout, I'm famished," Xelloss smiled and allowed Zel to drop his hand and lead the way into the lodge's dinning area. 

Here skiing was everything, including the attire, so the two kids fit right in with the dress code. It was, however, about 60 degrees warmer inside than out, so the first thing Xelloss did when they entered the warm room was to remove his knitted hat. Zel couldn't take his eyes off him. His dark glossy purple hair reflected the fireside lights and glittered as Xelloss shook a few slightly damp locks away from his face. Just as he had first seen him playing his violin solo for the first time at the school concert-- cheeks blazing with a deep red glow against the translucent, ivory skin. His slim, well-formed body stretched taut as he yanked off the outer pullover, and gave his hair another toss.

"There, that's better. You might want to strip down a bit too before you over heat," Xelloss said with a knowing smile. "Hello?!"

Zel nodded, breaking his trance and unzipped and removed his jacket as well. "Yes…too hot…" 

When Zel looked up, he noticed several pairs of eyes riveted on them from a distant table. A waiter spoke to Xelloss, then led Zel and him to a small table not far from the one with the curious faces, young men's faces, men and boys ranging from the early 20's to mid teens, Zel estimated. The waiter left them with the menus.

"Xelloss, don't look over there now, but there some guys…looking at you," Zel said quietly.

Xelloss nodded, pretended to examine the food selections, then sneaked a peek. "Ah…ummmm."

"Oh?"

"Mazouku. One was a recruit. I recognize a couple others. Would you like to be introduced? Actually, it would be a good idea, considering…"

"Considering what?" Zel asked. This was torture for him. What were those guys saying, thinking about them? He was another recruit, obviously, to them. "What will you say?"

"Don't look so worried. You're a Mazouku too, remember? You out-rank them all as well. I'll explain that to you later, I guess. Come on over." Xelloss said that more as a command than as an offer. 

"Nick, Ryo, Sato… hello. Enjoying the skiing? Good. This is Zelgadiss Greywords, my roommate and partner," Xelloss said smoothly.

First the older kid shook his hand politely, and then one of the prettiest boys Zel had ever laid eyes on shook his hand. Ryo. Honey blonde locks, large almond-shaped eyes peeking shyly from under the bangs…Xelloss called him Ryo. The other kids at the table were introduced and they engaged in some small talk until the waiter returned to take their orders.

"They seemed pretty nice," Zel said as the waiter took his menu and disappeared.

"Yes. Ryo especially, huh? Oh, it's okay to notice, well…_him_, who wouldn't?" Xelloss smiled as Zel blushed. "And it is hard to hide _that_ when you're wearing these tight ski pants!"

That made Zel blush even harder and scoot his chair closer to the table. "Xelloss!" he hissed. "It's not like that…I-I only…"

"Hey, it's perfectly normal and okay for a beautiful, hormonally charged seventeen-year-old homosexual boy to be turned on by another _almost_-as-cute one," Xelloss explained in a cheerful, low-key voice. "Just as long as you just look!" he grinned and wagged a finger at his uncomfortable boyfriend.

"You called me your 'partner'?" Zel muttered to change the subject quickly.

"Ah, yes, a technical term indicating that you are my trainee but of equal stature in the hierarchy. Perfectly accurate and non-compromising, I thought!" Xelloss said.

"Yes, thank you. And, I wouldn't _try _anything, you know. I never really paid attention to other… boys or girls before. Not like that! He was just so…unusual looking."

"Hmmm, well, Ryo is seventeen years old, just like you. He lives in Atlas City but is currently staying with his Aunt here in Seyruun. I recruited him last July…"

"You?! You slept with that…boy when he was younger than me?" Zelgadiss gasped, stunned to be face-to-face with the truth about his boyfriend, yet again. "How young _was _your youngest recruit?"

"Thirteen. And that was only one time, and _I_ was the recruit, _me_. Zel. I don't go out looking for young innocents to corrupt. They usually come to me first. Now, please, can we talk about something else?" Xelloss asked.

Zel nodded, and dove hungrily into his salad. They did talk about other things: school some, soccer practice, and spring break plans mostly. Halfway through dinner, the boys at the other table rose to leave, but first stopped at their table to talk a moment. Ryo moved close to Zel and smiled nervously. He leaned in close and spoke a couple words to him, then passed him a folded note. 

Xelloss noticed but was busy talking in answer to someone's question, "…No, we're going back tonight, in an hour or so, in fact. Thanks though!"

"Ah, yeah, um, bye…nice to meet you all," Zel stammered.

After showering and packing, Zel still hadn't opened the note. He hadn't dared even to take it out of his pocket! What could Ryo have written to him? What if he wanted to get together? What would that mean? The questions were too many and too stressful for him to contemplate, so he was trying the avoidance remedy. If he didn't look, then nothing would come of it.

Xelloss was acutely aware of Zel, the note, and his behavior, but he interpreted the situation differently. He construed from the whispering that Ryo had asked Zel out and that the note was his telephone number or e-mail address. The reason Zel had not opened it was that he thought he was keeping it a secret from him. Zel wanted to see Ryo. His Zel. His beautiful Zel. And Ryo was not innocent or sweet… in any way! Could he tell Zel that? That he'll take advantage of him and tell the world? What would that sound like, sour grapes? So, not tell him. Then what, let Ryo get his hands on his lovely Zel, his pure heart, not to mention body, in the hands of that lech? Xelloss frowned. It was a no-win situation for him, so he'd have to make a decision and do what would be best for Zel, he hoped.

He waited until they were well on the way home before broaching the subject. "Zel? I'm curious. What did the note say?"

"Note?"

"Note. The one Ryo dropped in your lap."

"Ah, I…don't know."

"Oh, _really_…" Xelloss said with a note of cynical disbelief.

"Really! I didn't look at it. I didn't think you'd noticed anyway."

"I did. Notice, that is…"

"Oh." Zel kept his eyes on the road. He wasn't nervous or particularly interested in pursuing the topic, just intent on driving safely. But Xelloss was single-minded.

"_So_?" Xelloss pressed.

"So, _what_?" Zel asked slightly irritated. "If there is something bothering you, spit it out! I'm tired and concentrating on the road and not on every nuance you're sending out, all right?"

Xelloss bristled. "So, are you going to _meet_ him sometime or _what_?!"

"MEET him? Meet him, _who_? _Ryo_? Why would you ask about that? How would _I_ know?" Zel shot off, exasperated. 

Xelloss asked, barely in control of his jealousy, "Do you _want_ to?"

"Huh? He gave me a **note**. I haven't **opened** it. How interested do you think that makes me? Dammit, Xelloss! Here, _you_ take it and read it and if _you_ think you're interested then _you_ follow up on it!" Zelgadiss snapped. 

He took one hand off the wheel and plundered his jeans pocket. It wasn't there. He had changed clothes and hadn't even bothered to retrieve it from the ski pants. 

In that moment of inattention, the car hit a patch of ice and began a sickening slide out of control.

"Watch OUT!"

Screech! Crash! 

The car came to a stop at the side of the road facing the wrong way, tire-high in a dirty, week-old-plowed snowbank. Yes, they were lucky. 

"Are you all right?!"

"Yes, I think so…how about you?"

"Yeah… I gotta check my car."

"I'll help," offered Xelloss. "But first…" He wrapped his best friend in his arms and crushed him heart-to-heart. "Gods, Zel…"

They both gripped one another in silence, the shock settling on them.

"I-I could have lost you…o-over a stupid n-note…" Xelloss sobbed after awhile. 

"Or me, you…" Zel choked out. "But it wasn't so stupid…to you, that note…"

"Yes it WAS…I was stupid about it!" Xelloss said. "I was…jealous of that guy, Zel!"

"Why? Do you think you and…Daemon and our life together means so little to me that I'd just go off on a lark… with some kid I saw for five minutes? Shit, Xelloss! What do you take me for? After all this time and living under the same roof… and you don't know me and trust me better that _that_? _I'm_ not the one sneaking around behind _your _back!"

"Ouch!" Xelloss winced. "I'm…c-cold…"

They had relaxed their hold on one another, and now they were beginning to feel the freezing temperature replace the heated warmth.

"We'd better see if this starts and dig it out before there are no more cars on the road to help us," Zel said suddenly.

"Right. Freezing to death tonight is not a good ending to this terrific week!"

The Gods were with them that night for sure. The engine turned over on the third try and the shoveling with a discarded can and old boot went faster than expected. Xelloss shoved some torn hunks of cardboard under the tires for traction and they were on the road back home within thirty minutes of the accident.

Xelloss rummaged through the dirty clothes bag and pulled out the note. "Sure you want me to read this aloud?"

"Yes. Now get it over with."

"Here goes: 'Look up my cousin, Tomoe, third year, Seyruun High… Ryo'…" Xelloss coughed slightly, "Ah, that's it."

They both laughed nervously. All that worry, the risk, the danger—for nothing, nothing at all. 

Except that Xelloss learned something else about love. Several something's. First, Zel's love and commitment went deeper than he could have guessed, and deserved more trust on his part. Also, Zel was still hurting from his affair with Nuriko, making it very important that he do everything possible not to do something like that again. And what most bothered him tonight…was that he, Xelloss, could become and _had_ become jealous of another guy and worried about losing Zel to him. 

Xelloss had never experienced such uncertainty in a relationship before. Of course, he hadn't tried to carry on a meaningful relationship before either. What was it about Zelgadiss that kept him so…involved? 

Shit, he'd never missed a chance to hop into bed with a promising guy and now he was passing up opportunities for…Zel and a chance at…real love? Could this be it? The real thing? Was that possible? Maybe it was the fact that Zel was so hard to get that made him so attractive? Maybe, but…why didn't he find it so hard to pass up those tasty hunks out there lately and break off with Nuriko so effortlessly? 

He wasn't losing his touch. He'd been hit upon on the slopes but brushed off the guy without so much as a moment's afterthought. What serendipity threw at his feet, he was simply too uninterested to follow up. Uninterested. He was becoming emotionally committed to that kid, his recruit, his 'failure', his best friend and roommate. Committed. Oh, my…he'd said that word three times to himself in that many minutes. 

They called Zelas the moment they got in to let her know they were okay and to tell Daemon that they'd pick him up after school the next day. It was after midnight before they slipped into their own bed, safe at last.

The last week of school before spring break was highlighted by a number of events, one being a message for Zel and Xelloss to 'see me' at his residence. 

"I received a…disturbing call the other day. From a teacher at your school," Rezo stared at Zel. They were in the office of the head of the White Shrine priests, Rezo in his chair behind his desk, Zel and Xelloss on the couch.

Zel shrugged, "Oh, yeah? Who? What about?" He had no idea. He never made any trouble there.

"The head of the acting department."

"Acting? I've never taken a class in acting in all my life! Why would he…" Zel stopped.

"Apparently, he would like you to try out for a play and wanted to encourage you personally but the school records listed my number for your home. Clerical error. Minor updating delay."

"Oh, all right…" Zel said.

"He said you have been hiding quite a talent, grandson. Perhaps that hasn't been all you've been hiding?" Rezo shot Xelloss a warning glance. "Until the other night, at the cast party…"

"Oh…that. Well…" Zel shrugged. What was there to say? "I haven't time for play practice, and I'm not particularly interested in…"

"We are not talking about plays here, I think you know that. We are talking about your sexual preferences, how you flaunt them, and with whom!"

"No… YOU are! I'm NOT!" Zel shouted.

"Calm down…both of you!"

Everyone turned to see who had spoken. Eris marched into the room carrying tea for refreshments. "Now, then. Zelgadiss, I have known you since, well before your parents were killed, and… I'd like to hear what you have to say. Okay, Sir?" she asked.

"Eris, my dear, please…call me Rezo when it's just…us. Accept my apologies, Zelgadiss, for my _attack_ just now." 

"Yeah, well…I guess it's time for me to 'come out' to you, now that I'm sure…Yes! I am! Let me tell this…it's hard…" Zel cleared his throat and sipped some tea to collect his thoughts before proceeding.

"I got tired of pretending and hiding, that's all. It's hard being around a… beautiful boy and seeing him at school. 'Boy'… yeah, well, he's twenty, now, not a boy at all. He's a man and I adore him. I just saw him, playing his violin that first time, and this amazing tingle spread over me." Zel smiled shyly over at Xelloss who had been sitting white-faced by his side on the couch. 

"I didn't know why, back then…exactly. Well _now_ I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I must be, because I love _him_. But when? When did that happen to me? There I was, sixteen…now seventeen years old. I had a car, a cool car, great clothes, computers, games, everything…but no close friends. Certainly not the kind I could talk about how I was feeling… about another boy, for Gods'sakes! No one to tell of my hopes and fears, to answer my questions and listen…just listen to me.

"I needed to share my innermost secrets and to laugh and to cry…and I'd done a lot of crying alone since Mom and Dad had died. You know, Mom was my only real friend. She'd been my sounding board and she'd died. 

"There, when I needed her the MOST, when I needed to talk to her and to tell her --well, never mind what I needed to tell her… I desperately needed her to talk to and she was dead. Grandfather, I knew that you loved me, but we'd never really talked before! You never touched me to hold me, comfort me, or offer to listen to my childish opinions or foolish dreams. Since Mom died, no one hugged me, kissed me, or…even wanted to talk about Mom! I missed her so much! I was so lonely and alone…I was dying too in a way…inside. I even tried drugs…"

Rezo grunted, but Zel stopped him with a raised hand, "Not much and not anymore! Xelloss wouldn't have anything to do with drugs, or me if I preferred them to his company, so I stopped.

"I was so confused, but who could I tell? Not you, my _Grandfather, Head of the White Shrine_! I couldn't tell _you_! I mean, I _knew_ what you thought of…boys who loved other boys. I _knew_ you would hate me, reject me, and make me hate myself even more than I already did. I was dirty, perverted, sick… but I was mesmerized by the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. 

"I still am. Oh, I tried to talk myself out of it, all right. Liking other boys, or just liking to look at them… it is not a phase I'm going through! Not unless phases last for five years! I've _never_ been interested in girls, _ever_! I hid my attraction to boys until I just couldn't do it any more because it came bursting out and was returned…someone liked me too…someone so cool… I fell in love with Xelloss the moment I saw him, and I don't care what you think of me…NO, that's not right. I DO care, but it won't change how I feel, not about Xelloss and me. He was the first boy I realized I _wanted_, my first and only love…"

Zelgadiss had been holding Xelloss' hand in a vise-like grip throughout his entire monologue like a lifeline. Now that he seemed to have run down, Xelloss freed his crushed fingers and rubbed them a little to relieve the soreness and said, "I love you too, Zel. I _do_, Sir, and I have managed to keep my hands off him too, amazingly enough. Um, except for the hugging part. He does need those, a lot. Although, I think right now he could use one from you more than from me."

And when Zel stood beside his grandfather, they did hug. Long and tight.

"I miss her too, your mother. Would you like to hear a story about her? Well, one time, when you were quiet young…"

Rezo told many stories that night, some sad and some very funny. Apparently she was quiet an outgoing young woman before she was married. And Zel cried and laughed and healed, just a little bit. They both did. Some. It was a start.

The head of the White Shrine still disapproved of their relationship, sex or no sex, but he would support them should problems occur, as he was sure that they would.

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 02.


	3. Part 3

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 03 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

The head of the White Shrine still disapproved of their relationship, sex or no sex, but he would support them should problems occur, as he was sure that they would.

Provence was wonderful, Zel thought, but especially with a guide like Xelloss who spoke the language fluently. At first, the weather was nasty-- windy, rainy—good for sampling the local patis. There was no enforced age limit on drinking alcoholic beverages that Zel could observe, so he tested each town's offerings unimpeded. Luckily, Xelloss knew his limits better than Zel and pushed both the delicious food and tepid water down his gullet as well. They had a blast. No rules, plenty of money, one week.

Lina and Nahga had struck off on some adventure of their own, and encountered the 'boys' near the end of their trip.

"Gods, Zel, it's good to see you!" laughed Lina. "How'ya doin'?"

"Fine…ah, great actually. I'm not used to the sun, though," he smiled slightly.

"Me neither! The weather's been shit, up until today. But now…springtime in France! This…IS the life, huh?" she grinned at Xelloss.

"Hmmm, yes," he smiled. "How are you feeling, Lina?"

"Great! Well, I had some morning puke sessions there for awhile, but not much lately."

"They say the third month can be bad that way as the hormone surges play havoc with your body," Xelloss offered. "I am glad to see that you're passing up the wine. It's dangerous for the baby."

"Heh, heh. Well, I don't care much for the stuff anyway. Too sour! And Nahga here, well, she may drink like a fish, but she's very guarded when it comes to me. Don't worry. I'll keep it healthy," she said. "Ah, pass me that other basket of rolls, will ya? This one's empty all of a sudden."

"Enjoying the food?" Xelloss asked with a slightly raised left eyebrow. He'd been watching her pack away enough to feed three starving French country families over the past twenty minutes.

"Like you wouldn't believe! This place is the capital of food!" she smiled and stuffed her face in silence for a while longer. 

Zel waited for her to pay them some attention and sipped a cup of coffee. She was so self-centered. Like he was. Like he _had been_.

"So, how's everyone at home?" she asked at last.

"Gourry," Zel stared at her very hard. Gods Lina, remember him? The guy who'd lay down his life for you? Zel sighed. He couldn't say those things to her. 

Instead, he muttered, "…misses you. He was so down before we left I nearly invited him along with us, but…I knew he didn't have a passport. He'd mentioned it, just in case I'd think to ask." 

"Oh, well…I sent him a postcard…two of 'em! Maybe he can come in summer, when school's out?" 

"When you start _showing_?" Xelloss reminded her. "Maybe _not_! Unless…"

"Unless, what?"

"Unless you've changed your mind and are thinking of keeping your baby and raising it yourself," Xelloss said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Nah, I don't think so, but…" she paused to take another bite of her lunch. "What would happen if I did? Would they… would _you_ let me?" Lina wondered.

"_Let_ you?" Xelloss dropped his smile and turned serious. "It depends. Ordinarily, no. Financially, there has to be something in it for the Mazouku, or it's all a loss, a big one. We'll have invested nine months into you and the food budget alone will be astronomical! However, Lina, you are Zel's and my friend and I would make an exception, regardless." 

Xelloss was speaking sternly and had everyone's undivided attention. He wanted Lina to be one hundred percent certain about whatever choices she made, and was willing to risk quite a lot personally just to be sure that she was happy. Zel wouldn't forgive him otherwise, he was positive. His mother would have had _issues_, to be sure, but he didn't have to _live_ with her!

"Oh, well. I can't imagine wanting to have a kid draggin' me down. I don't know how you've done it with yours," she said lightly.

"Daemon? I've had help. Especially in the beginning. I was…just a kid myself and had no idea what to do for a baby, but I learned. If you can make one, you can take care of one!" he smiled. Everything was better now. The crisis was over.

"You gonna have more kids someday?" Lina asked, then looking at Zel, blushed.

"Ah, not in the foreseeable future," Xelloss chuckled. He casually stretched an arm across Zel's shoulders and drew him closer.

Zelgadiss felt the heat rise to his face. 

"Why don't we all go for a walk through the hills here. There is a field of lavender for extracting the essential oil and then a nice shady spot to sit in an old olive grove," Xelloss suggested.

Nahga, finding that the bill was paid and more wine was not forthcoming said in agreement, "Sure, let's ALL go for a walk! There's a vintner on the other side as well…if we get thirsty!"

~~~~ 

Yes, France was lovely, warm and a world apart from Seyruun for the last days of their stay. Soon, however, they were hopping the plane back home slightly tanned and full of happy memories, ready for the spring term, soccer, and a bigger house.

About the bigger house… Zelas and Daemon picked them up at the airport. 

"DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zelgadiss was taken aback by how much he'd missed the little boy in their week alone. He nearly crushed the tyke in his enthusiasm to return his hugs.

"Ya gotta see the house! It's so bright! And BIG! Some guy was painting yesterday still so we had to leave all the windows open. It stinks!" Daemon chatted eagerly all the way to the car. Zelas' new car.

"Wow!" Xelloss laughed when he saw the fine, shiny new silver BMW sedan. "You never drove me around in anything like this before!"

"No, dear, not with two children dribbling dirt all over," she said. "Oh, by the way, your things arrived just as we were leaving. That kind Vurumagen man was cramming his garage full of boxes, but your living room will be loaded when you get home."

"So much for BIG!" Xelloss smirked.

The three kids—two big, one little-- spent the remainder of their break sorting and unloading boxes. Zelgadiss insisted on buying furniture, so they purchased bookcases for toys, books, and art supplies, better bedside tables than the cardboard boxes that they'd been using, a couple more chairs and more lamps! Yes, he could read and sit comfortably at last! Now, he felt like he was in his own home! 

The new sunroom looked terrific, letting in oodles of light and providing more living space for everyone. Xelloss carefully setup his rickety easel near a window and ordered his materials on shelves. Now he felt like it was his home, too. 

Daemon squealed and giggled as he pulled out forgotten toys and built a new Lego house on a small table Zel had bought him, just for _him_ to build a house on or draw on. Oh, boy, did this ever feel like his home now!

In a magical weekend, the place was transformed into _their _home at last.

"I should just toss these clothes, yours are so much better, except a pair or two of these pants," Xelloss said.

"Might as well, my taste is better anyway," Zel smirked. "Hey, are those pajamas? I'll take them, since I know they've never been worn."

Xelloss shrugged, "Yeah, they were a gift from some well-meaning, spinster aunt. Green plaid, too. Ooooh, underwear…"

"Burn those…" Zel muttered.

"Okay, I've got a couple loads of laundry to do here. You have school tomorrow morning, so you should stay and work out dinner with Daemon and I'll go the wash, okay? Zel? Okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Laundry. Dinner. Daemon, oh… he called and is eating with the Gabriev's tonight and won't be home until bedtime, remember? We did talk that one over this time. All right, just reminding you that I do try and keep you informed… Ugh… Back to reality and those mundane tasks, already, huh?"

"Yep! See you later!" Xelloss hollered as his clamored out the door with his basket and bags.

"Later…" Zel flashed a rare smile and returned to his book. Oh, yes, dinner. That could be Chinese delivery tonight. Plenty of time for shopping and cooking after school tomorrow…Good, now that that was settled, he could concentrate on his book again.

Some indeterminable time later, Zel was roused from his reading by a knock on the door. "Rather early for that food delivery…" he muttered as he unlocked and opened the front door.

"Hello?"

Nick, Ryo, Sato, and some other guy Zel did not recognize were standing at the door.

"Hey, Zelgadiss…remember us? From the lodge? Can we come in?"

"Oh, yes, um…Nate, er…Nick…right? And Sato and Ryo. I have those right? And you are?" Zel asked the stranger. He was suffering, but didn't want to appear overtly rude to associates of his boyfriend.

"Xelloss' previous boyfriend, Claude LeParke. Nice to meet you," the olive-skinned, heavily accented boy said. He raked a fall of sun-streaked hair from over one hazel eye and stretched his sensuous lips into a ready smile revealing slightly crooked teeth. The over-all impact was hot, hot, HOT!

"Claude…" Zel repeated, dumbstruck for a moment. "Yeah, come in and have a seat. Xelloss isn't here right now, if you wanted to see him."

"No? Will he be long?" asked Nate.

For some reason, Zel felt uncomfortable alone in his own home with these four strangers, at least they were strangers to him. "No, in fact I was expecting him back when you came," he lied.

"Oh, good. Mind if we wait?"

Yes, immensely. "Suit yourself. I have reading to do for school tomorrow and I put it off to the last minute," he said and walked off to his own room to read.

He could hear the others talking in the front room, then the voices spread out and roamed the house as they gave themselves self-guided tours.

"This your room?" Claude asked, stretching himself alongside Zel on his bed. 

Zel tensed. "Yes."

"Not very sociable, are you?"

"No."

"You don't seem like his type."

"And you are, I mean _were?" _Zelgadiss laid a heavy emphasis on the past tense.

"Well, yes… he had to move. He left at the end of summer. We were in love, so _very _close…" Claude said, moving closer to Zel.

"Really? We just got back from a trip to France. He didn't mention wanting to visit anyone. In fact, he hasn't mentioned you at all," Zel said, getting his hackles up.

"That, does not surprise me. He's _vaaaary_ discrete. What happened to your face? You're scarred." One of his hands cupped Zel's chin, while another wandered along one of his outer legs.

"Car accident. Um, don't do that, all right?" Zel asked, pushing the aggressive boy's hand away from his leg and shaking his head free as well.

"Hey, whose room is this other one?" asked Ryo, barging into Zel's room. "Oh! Sorry…"

Zel sat up flushed, "I-it's all right we were just talking. Ah, that's Xelloss'..."

"With all those toys?" Ryo looked amused. Cute and amused. 

Zel felt like the temperature of the room had gone up twenty degrees in that many seconds. "His… son's room."

"SON?!"

"Yes, Daemon. He's at a friend's house right now." Zel wondered if breathing exercises might help lower his heart rate. He had never had such a disturbing reaction of other guys before. He hardly even knew these two and yet his body was on fire!

"Daemon, his _brother_ you mean," Claude corrected him.

"No, _son_ actually. I'll let him explain when he gets here, if he wants to," Zel said, closing the subject.

"So…if that's Daemon's room, then this room is yours and…?" Ryo pushed the point, whatever it was, confession perhaps from Zel.

"You are his lover then, no?" Claude asked, his demeanor… incredulous. "He didn't introduce you that way."

Not letting Zel confirm or deny the allegation, Ryo suggested more, 'Maybe he's not that…"

"T-that's not your business!" Zel gasped.

"Oh, maybe you are his special slave? They can be 'partners' in some respects."

"Slave?" Zel was aghast at the notion. "You're crazy! Xelloss is my best friend and we're roommates. That's _all_ you need to know."

"I don't believe that he would trade me for you," said Claude. He pushed back a clump of Zel's wiry brown hair, exposing an ear and his slender neck. His other hand returned to caressing Zel's thigh, moving higher with each stroke.

"Oh, I think you are _gorgeous_. So aloof… and with these exotic ears and your eyes. Zelgadiss… _what_ a sexy name…" Ryo sighed in his ear. "Do you like me, Zelgadiss? Would you like to touch me?"

Zel's eyes went wide. Touch him? His mind was exploding with ideas, touching being one of them. Suddenly, that warm breath turned into a tongue tasting the curve of his ear and that hand under his waistband…

"AAHHH!" Zel cried out. "S-stop it! Get off me!" He kicked with one leg, and Claude fell off his bed with a shocked 'yelp'. 

"Shit, Ryo, cut that out!" Zel snarled next and pushed the smaller boy away with no intention of being gentle.

"Gods! You're the types that make people hate gay men so much! Faggots!" Zel yelled as he bounced to the side of the bed and onto his feet. He wiped off his ear and straightened his shirt. He was panting hard, face flushed and hair mussed…

Xelloss stepped into Zel's doorway, "Zel? What's going on here? Oh…"

Zel was thrilled to see him. He collected his wits and said as calmly as possible, "I just met Claude, your _ex_? He came to see you, along with Ryo, Nate… I mean, Nick, and Sato."

Xelloss assessed the situation quickly. He stared at Ryo hard, then Claude, gauging their level of arousal and engagement in the goings-on. Claude looking a bit dazed on the floor and Ryo, sprawled across his bed seemed guilty of something, "I heard voices and came right in. Nick and Sato must have gone out. I didn't see them. What are you two doing in _here_?"

"Testing…" Ryo smiled. "He's **_straight_**. Why didn't you _tell_ us?"

"I just KNEW he wasn't my replacement," Claude smiled smugly. "And I've missed you so much, you know. You're the best…at _everything_."

"I _said_ he was my trainee, not my latest f%$ck! Now, I think you had better leave before I get violent," Xelloss practically snarled at them. "And next time you want to visit, call first!"

Claude rose from the floor and practically draped his entire body around Xelloss. "You can't mean that… I could really enjoy having you inside me tonight. I mean it…"

Zelgadiss stormed out of the room. He couldn't watch. It made him sick to see that guy hanging on _his_ boyfriend, begging, promising $ex like a slut. The same guy who was sticking his hand down _his _pants only a minute ago! And he had thought the guy was hot?! Right now, neither Ryo nor Claude appealed to Zel at all. Xelloss didn't treat him like _that_. His touches were different, _giving _not taking! Those hands! That tongue! Imagine where they were last! 

"Gack!" Zel felt queasy. Shit! He ran to the bathroom and heaved. He ran the water and washed his face and bushed his teeth, then sat on the bare floor and closed his eyes.

KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Zel? You okay? Can I come in?" Xelloss asked at the door.

"Yeah…"

"The food just arrived. It's on the table. Hey, I'll give you a hand up, let's get some fresh air, okay?"

They stood in a loose embrace outside their new sunroom. Mr. Gabriev had added a small deck off a pair of French doors leading to the back yard.

"This will be nice in summer," Xelloss whispered.

"Y-yes, we c-could eat out here, when it's not f-freezing," Zel chuckled as he shivered.

"Time to warm up. I bet the towels are still warm from the drier. Yes! Doesn't that feel good? Hungry? I am. Oh, and I am sorry you had to fend them off. **Straight**! That's rich! Did you tell them that?"

"No, I just…rejected them and called them faggots that give gay guys a bad rap. They are too! Not all guys are like that, or become that way, right? You're not, to me anyway…"

"No, some guys are horny, obnoxious jerks, gay or straight. Most aren't. You, my sweet friend, will never be like either of them. You have too much pride and restraint. That's another one of the countless reasons why I love you," Xelloss smiled. 

They pulled out chairs and sat at their table, opening the white folding boxes and stabbing at the contents with chopsticks.

"Not for my cooking?" Zel smirked.

"No. _That_ we need to work on."

"I'm glad you came back when you did," Zel said softly.

"You seemed able to defend yourself pretty well, Zel."

"Thanks for the confidence boost, but… had they wanted to take me on, I don't think I could have stopped them both! I was starting to get worried!"

"They wouldn't have raped you, if that's what you mean. They're predatory, but not sadists or criminals or anything. Though…I would have killed them, if they'd harmed you or forced you to do anything. They didn't, did they?" Xelloss asked suddenly becoming concerned for his friend.

"No, nothing direct…touching, but… it made me sick! Especially when I heard…Claude…say those things to you…"

"He was…IS a prick. A good-looking one, though. We were school chums, shared a room, you know…all boys school…violin…that place. I was there a couple years and we got to be pretty close. We both recruited others…taking turns. He was about as good a friend as I had, until… We had a falling out. Then I moved. End of story."

"Until now,' Zel said.

"Yeah…well, it was over then and it's over now, whatever it had been, it's nothing even close to what we have…nothing!" Xelloss said.

"It certainly doesn't sound like us at all. Compared to then, you live the life of a monk!"

Xelloss chuckled.

"Do you want to know what I think? Zel asked. "I think that as soon as you get a guy in bed, it's all over."

Xelloss stiffened immediately. "What?"

"Every guy I heard about or see you with…it's the same story. Sex, no relationship. But with us, it's different. Think about it!"

"You think I'm _that_ shallow?" Xelloss gasped. "You don't think I can actually care deeply for anyone? That _can't_ be why you avoid making love to me!"

" Gulp! Not really, but partly. I don't want it because I don't _want_ it! It makes me _sick_! I'm not ready, but when I am it will be with someone who sticks with me. I won't be someone's conquest or…_fling_, for want of a better word," Zel said. He was determined to make Xelloss understand the kind of person he was, and to distinguish himself from Xelloss' past spoils.

"I guess I can see your point. I haven't treated any of my past sexual partners very well and I haven't had anyone who I could say was as good a friend as you. If I had to choose, I would rather keep the friendship, for the sake of its rarity." Xelloss grabbed Zel's hand with one of his own and squeezed. "But…what I'd really like is…to hold out for the real thing. Love, sex, friendship all wrapped up in one Zel-package."

"Me, too, only with you, of course," Zel smiled blushing a little. He had wanted to hear those words, but honestly, he wasn't sure Xelloss could really mean them, yet.

"You are sooo delicious…I really want to kiss those lips," Xelloss said huskily as he reached over the table with his free hand and pulled Zel's head closer to his. "Okay?"

Zel answered by closing his eyes and meeting Xelloss in the middle, for a tender kiss, and then another, then another.

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Hey! Gourry, come in. Thanks for bringing Daemon home. Wanna finish off some Chinese? I must have ordered thinking I was feeding Daemon and it won't keep?' Zel asked.

Xelloss had excused himself to help get Daemon ready for bed. Gourry took Zel up on his offer and slurped up the leftovers. "Practice after school…"

"Not _tomorrow_!" Zel pleaded.

"Nope, day after. Got shoes, shinguards? It'll be cold and damp so wear sweats you can remove easily if yer get hot. Those new kinds that aren't cotton stay drier," Gourry said.

"I'll take Xelloss shopping tomorrow and get what we need. Oh, and I was wondering if you thought that it would be all right if we just came straight home after practices?" Zel asked.

"Worrying 'bout the showers already?" Gourry smiled. "Do what yer like, but that'll draw more attention than a few scars or… whatever."

"I guess it might. I just don't want the others thinking I'm some sort of pervert trying to…check them out or something." Zel blushed. 

"Well, ya wouldn't be. I don't know nothin' bout…gay guys, okay? But I know _you_ and _you_'re just like any other guy to me. Xelloss, well…I don't know him so well, but just follow my lead." Gourry's face lit up with an idea. "I know! You guys can use the showers at the far side and I'll stand between you and the rest. That way I can explain about the scar stuff and they'll understand and I'm big enough to block you guys out anyway."

"Sounds fine. Unless someone complains, we'll try your idea. Thanks Gourry, you're …_incredible_. Ah…um… Wanna see the sunroom now that we've filled it up? Yeah, turn around and I'll turn on the lights outside so you can see how cool the windows and deck look when it's dark in here." Zel said rapidly to change the subject after embarrassing them both with his outburst. Even though it was meant as an honest compliment, Zel was becoming aware of how his comments might sound to someone else if they misunderstood his intentions. How could he _compliment_ another guy without being self conscious about sounding like he was _coming on_ to him? Damn….

"Daemon's out like a light. I think I'll slip out of these clothes, get comfortable and go to bed, you coming?" Xelloss called out as he exited the bathroom. "Oh, Gourry! I didn't know you were still here… Well, 'night…" 

"Guess I'd better be goin' then," Gourry chuckled. "9:30, eh? Kinda early."

"I like to read in bed…and that's _all_!" Zel snorted. 

"I was just kiddin' ya a little, Zel. Hey, it ain't my business. 'Night!" Gourry smiled and closed the door behind him.

Zelgadiss changed into his pajamas in the bathroom, as usual, then climbed into bed beside his friend.

"I didn't mess with his mind too much, did I?" Xelloss smiled innocently. 

"He took it well enough. He thought 9:30 was early, but said it wasn't his business. You know, I'm probably the only virgin of all my friends, excluding Amelia, but they all think I have the hottest sex life, because of you—despite what you or I say. Pretty queer, huh?" 

Xelloss opened both eyes wide, "I guess we are! Pretty and queer! Now ask me that, again…Come on! Ask me, again!"

Zel stared at him, then laughed. They both laughed. They held on to each other and laughed until tears trickled down their cheeks. "I love you so much, Zelgadiss. This is so incredible, just holding you like this."

"Yeah... I love you too, goofball."

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 03.


	4. Part 4

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 04 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

Zel stared at him, then laughed. They both laughed. They held on to each other and laughed until tears trickled down their cheeks. "I love you so much, Zelgadiss. This is so incredible, just holding you like this."

"Yeah... I love you too."

…

"Can I take off your top?"

Zel nodded, and struggled out of the sleeves. "Ummm…" the feeling of skin against skin, warm and smooth, supple muscles beneath satiny skin was thrilling. 

"Hmmmm…" the heady smell of another person held close enough to detect their every breath and the feeling of completeness when familiar lips pressed together was rousing.

"Ahhhhh…" 

…

"Zel? Zel?! Are you okay?" Xelloss called out in the dark. He'd been awakened by Zel's moans and thrashings. 

"Xe…Xelloss? What's the matter?"

"You were having a bad dream or something, so I woke you up," Xelloss explained. He snapped on the table lamp to its lowest setting. "Are you okay?"

"Ah…yes…I… ah… oh?" Zel jumped when Xelloss' hand accidentally passed over his pajama bottoms on its way to adjusting the covers. There was a definite damp, sticky spot in front, impossible to hide.

Xelloss smiled, "I see. Not so bad a dream after all, I take it. I hope I had a guest appearance in it?"

The poor kid nearly died of embarrassment. Wet dreams were for pubescent boys, and he knew what they were… in theory. This had been his first, though.

"It's all right, Zel. Stuff happens. It could have been me," Xelloss added to calm his nervous friend.

"I doubt it, Xelloss. I'm sure you're well past this stage, since you've got the real thing down," Zel snapped venomously.

Well, stuff still happened! Then, Xelloss understood, "Was this your first?" It couldn't be! Zel was seventeen? Was he actually that immature? No wonder he wasn't very interested in sex before!

"Yes. Now, I'm changing clothes and then I'd like to drop the subject and try and get back to sleep," Zel said in a low voice. He was humiliated beyond words by his own body.

Zel didn't want to be held again that night. Xelloss kissed him gently on the back of his head anyway, and whispered, "You're sweet."

~~~~ 

Soccer. 

Standing in the light drizzle, Zel wondered what had ever possessed him to agree to join the team. He knew most of the others from previous years, one from a shared class, but no one but Gourry was what he could count on as being a friend. Well, except for Xelloss.

Xelloss waved him on to join in the warm-up jog around the track. Gods, he was attractive. His pretty, purple hair was tied off his face, somewhat, with a sweatband/scarf. His pale, smooth legs were mostly covered to the knees by the shin-guards and socks, but the shorts showed some well-muscled thigh. Funny, he had ample opportunities to see his friend completely nude around the house, but dressed and near other guys, left Zel breathless.

"Hey, I hope yer not it that bad of shape," Gourry ribbed him. "Come on loosen up a bit then I'll introduce ya both to the team."

"Ah, yeah, sure…I'm coming…" Zel sputtered.

This could be getting _serious_, if he couldn't get himself under better control. At school, Zel only saw Xelloss briefly at lunch. They had agreed to keep their relationship very low-key. That meant no handholding, kissing, or tantalizing looks over lunch trays. That wasn't so hard since they knew they'd have their own private time later nearly every night. Consequently, Zel hadn't found himself daydreaming about his friend during classes, like he'd heard Val go on about-- about girls, of course. 

But things were changing. They were out in public view, together, and Zel felt…different. He didn't know quite how to act. If his eyes lingered on his chosen subject a second too long, his mind would wander dangerously off course. Like now… 

See, with him, it wasn't just the outer package, there was a mysterious inner beauty that kept Zel in a trance non-stop that afternoon. Take away the lithe frame, the silky purple hair and matching eyes, and what was left was still more captivating than all of the other boys put together. Sigh... He was worried that he was going to need therapy soon. 

"We were short on mids and forwards last season so I collected three guys. Ah, Ramna, from the junior team, who I know is ready for the job. He was starting last fall but pulled an Achilles…" Gourry was saying to his teammates.

Zelgadiss was drifting again. Xelloss standing to his side, bumped him with an elbow. "He's gonna be talking about you next, I think."

Gourry turned a bit, "Ah, most of ya remember Zel from a few seasons back? He's the fastest runner at school and I'm not sure where to put him so I'd like some input after a few practices."

A few voices muttered in the background.

"And uh, this is Xelloss who I met coaching indoor soccer fer my little brother…" Gourry began.

"So we're lettin' faggots on the team now?" shouted one of the guys Zel didn't know, Doug-something.

Xelloss' face became an expressionless mask. He wanted to punch the punk, hard, but knew better than to stoke the fires. Let Gourry try his go at handling the situation…

But, to his horror, it was Zel who spoke up first.

"Xel-loss, is my best friend. He and I share a house…with his _son_. You have anything else to say, then say it to my face, too!" Zel retorted.

Now, he didn't say anything about a relationship or that they were gay, but Xelloss felt a sudden warmth of pride envelop him. Zelgadiss wasn't ashamed of him! A few months ago, Xelloss was certain Zel would have reacted differently.

Zel was well respected by the popular kids at school, even though he hadn't many friends. He was known for his scholastic abilities by his teachers, but other kids knew him as rich, arrogant, and associated with _the_ largest shrine in town—characteristics they admired, apparently. He had also been an outstanding soccer player. 

It was the 'son' part that silenced the lot of them. How could a guy be gay and have a son? Plus, he's living with Zel, he must be all right then. None of these guys had been at the play cast party, only the one had heard anything and he wasn't a reliable source. So the issue died on the spot. For the time being…

Mostly, Xelloss could play soccer. Really well. He was their new starting forward. Zel was placed at center midfield, where he could run the huge field tirelessly, and Gourry remained their all-star goalie. By the end of the first practice, the team was set and ready to develop some plays at subsequent practices.

As Gourry suggested, Zel and Xelloss changed in the locker room and used the showers. Zel was extremely self-conscious, but so were several of the other boys so the high-jinx were kept at a minimum. Xelloss was perfectly comfortable in his skin, magnificent skin. The purple hair in the right places contrasted sharply with his flawless, pale skin giving him an unearthly appearance beside the other dull creatures in the locker room. Firm and tight without a surplus of muscles, he had an aura about him that touched everyone's awareness in different ways. Zel noticed that all the other guys checked Xelloss out as he passed by, but that Xelloss kept his eyes ahead, only glancing at Gourry or Zel when he stepped beside them to shower.

"How's it going?" he whispered to Zel, careful not to actually stare his way.

Zelgadiss set his jaw and shook his head. He was miserable, but refused to complain, well in _there_ any way. He dressed and waited in the car for Xelloss to preen. He had lived through the first practice, and he had enjoyed it, mostly.

He managed to survive all the practices the first weeks, and found that he had missed the game and the stress-reduction benefits that regular exercise provided. He had also learned to curb his fantasizing over Xelloss and focus on the activity instead. His anxiety level decreased, his enjoyment level increased and his skills exceeded his previous levels by miles. So, when the date of their first game arrived, Zelgadiss was looking forward to the challenge.

~~~~ 

The field was in good condition and the air was cool with a heavy mist—great soccer weather. Gourry won the coin toss and chose the direction, into the wind for the first half of the game. Play hard when you're at your strongest, have it easier when you're tired at the end—that was his philosophy. 

The opposition was an experienced team-- tough, but clean. Xelloss and Ramna both missed their first attempts on goal, but Xelloss landed the next to tie the game before the end of the first half. 

At half time break, Gourry and the coach ran through players, pointing out the opposition's weaknesses and suggesting some player moves. Doug, it seemed didn't think Xelloss was so hot and wanted a change to the position, "He don't kick straight."

"Just pass me the ball and I'll take the shots," Xelloss said.

"I can't find ya. Yer always hidin' behind a defender. Get yerself open!" Doug snapped. 

Xelloss was about to counter with some sarcastic remark when the coach signaled the team to return to the field.

Zel kept an eye on Doug. The guy wasn't bad, but he was sloppy and tended to blame others for his mistakes. Zel began to suspect that he was up to something. He thought he overheard Doug taunting Xelloss, one of his own teammates! Names…bad names… ones Zel had overheard before but never considered could be directed at him or anyone close to him.

There, Xelloss was open, signaling to Doug. Why didn't he pass? That might have been an easy goal. What was Doug trying to prove? Instead of passing to the open forward, Doug chose to hold onto the ball and go for the goal himself, but he was in a terrible position. Two defenders charged down on him and one stole the ball. Shit! The opponent passed, an incredible boot over their heads, pass the half field! Where were our defenders? 

Zel was running. He could tell that his team's only chance would be for him to cover for Doug who had gone wildly out of position when he'd been hogging the ball. He ran like the wind, weaving through the other players, dead-set on stopping the opposition's drive on goal. Doug wasn't going to blame Xelloss for this one. He wasn't going to lose the game for their team over some personal grievance. A sharp pain in his side warned Zel that he was nearing his limits. Too bad. He saw his chance and intercepted a kicked ball on its way to goal. He took it on the shoulder, controlled it, passed it back through a player's legs, caught his own pass and started dribbling it up to the half-line, his chest heaving with exhaustion. As soon as he found an open teammate, he passed the ball. 

That player passed to Ramna for a shot, but at the last moment he saw Xelloss was open out of the corner of his eye, passed, and Xelloss booted it crosswise into the far corner. Their team was up by one with two minutes left in the game!

They were playing the clock now. Gourry blocked a goal shot that shouldn't have gotten through their defense. Coach would be making some changes in the defenders before the next game, Zel guessed. Down to thirty seconds…twenty…ten… over! They had won the first game of the season, despite Doug!

After the game, Doug tried to place the blame on Xelloss for his bad play, but even the coach could tell a lame excuse from the real thing. When pressed, Doug had to admit he hated to pass to the 'damned faggot'.

"That would be me," Xelloss said calmly. "It seems I upset his sensitivities. If it matters to everyone, I'll quit the team, voluntarily."

"If he goes, so do I," Zel said loyally.

"If they're not welcome, then it's not the team fer me neither," Gourry said in his soft voice.

"No one's quitting my team," bellowed the coach. Whether he cared for Xelloss or not, he knew his team's chances were poor without their star goalie, that, and Xelloss _had_ scored the winning goal. "But, _you _are not allowed in the showers…"

"Huh?"

"There's a handicapped one that's private. I know 'cause my brother used it last year when he had a broken leg," one kid suggested.

"I guess that would do," the coach said.

"I'm not handicapped," Xelloss began.

"If he has to use it, then so do I," Zel demanded. 

Again, following his lead, Gourry said it was too small for the three of them, him included. Ramna, finding this to be entertaining, jumped on board as well. Soon, half the team was demanding the showers be open to everyone, as they had been for the first practices.

The coach wanted to get out of there and go home. He changed the orders, "All right, open showers." He then turned to Xelloss and said in a low voice, "But if I hear one complaint about perverse behavior, I can promise you trouble, understand?'

Xelloss was on the edge of exploding, "Mazouku have the legal right to be open homosexuals, without intimidation or intolerance. I know the laws, Sir. If you have any concerns, I recommend that you remain in the shower room yourself and observe everyone's behavior."

The coach was furious. Xelloss was right. The coach would have to supervise if a formal compliant were filed. "That won't be necessary," he grumbled and stalked off. Doug chased after him.

"Well, that was nasty," Xelloss shrugged.

Gourry smiled, "Didn't I tell ya? Doug's the coaches son."

"Ask me if this is all worth it, Zel," Xelloss smiled.

"Um, is this all worth it?" Zel asked. 

"No. I don't need harassment in my life,' Xelloss said. "Now, ask me…again," Xelloss repeated.

"All right. Xelloss, is all this mess worth it to you?"

"Yes. Kicking that winning goal felt great!. Seeing you smiling out there, running, happy. Yeah, it is," Xelloss smiled. He stepped closer to Zel until they were almost touching.

"Uh, guys…yer not gonna kiss or anythin' are ya? 'Cause I don't think even **I** wanna see that," Gourry chuckled.

That sent Xelloss into peals of laughter for some reason and Zel simply blushed to his roots mumbling, "No, we're not…"

So the team accepted Xelloss and Zel. Actually, they we not certain either one was gay since they behaved like ordinary guys, Xelloss had a son, and Zel never really said he was. That and Xelloss was a great guy. He exuded manly charm, when he wanted to, and scored goals, lots of them. Doug tolerated them in barely leashed disgust, but kept his mouth closed.

~~~~ 

So the first weeks of spring session passed by quickly. Xelloss went to the tryouts for the school musical, _The King and I_; Zel did not. Xelloss won the leading role, again; Zelgadiss said he'd look forward to hearing him sing, too! Mostly Zel stuck to doing his homework--tremendous and voluminous quantities of it-- playing soccer, learning to cook and clean house, playing with Daemon, and adoring Xelloss.

He adored him. He just adored him. Zelgadiss didn't know why, he just nearly worshiped the ground Xelloss walked on. He learned to be more demonstrative in private. He loved sitting and holding hands while reading, until he could no longer focus on the words. Then he'd sometimes touch a lock of purple hair, simply to enjoy the change of texture on his fingertips. If he didn't get back to work soon after that, Xelloss would pull him up onto his lap and begin to kiss him. Gentle touches, sweet caresses, warm mouths lost in one another. It was fast becoming Zel's favorite hobby, sport, and all-around activity—adoring Xelloss. 

Not that Xelloss was complaining…

"I really need more driving practice, but not at night. Can you take me out this weekend?" Xelloss asked his boyfriend late Friday night in bed.

"Before or after the game?"

"After, we're lucky to eat before making it out to…_what_ field at _9:00_ on a SATURDAY morning, for gods'sakes?" Xelloss whined.

"No shit… it's almost an hour's drive away! You can drive both ways, that'll give you practice!" Zel smirked.

"Thanks loads. Ah…how I wish this year were over. Not _the year_, so much as…I look forward to summer and going _some place_. Oh!" Xelloss gasped.

"Oh_, what_?"

"I forgot to pass on a message to you, sorry. It was from dear Mr. Vurumagen. He said to tell you that he'd be available soon to begin your Shamanist training, if you were interested…" Xelloss smiled.

Zelgadiss jumped, "Really?! He really said that?! Train ME?! REALLY?! That would be…so f*&^*ing awesome, I can't believe it! ME?! A shaman?"

"So…I take it that's a yes, then? Okay, okay…calm down or I'll have to take measures…extreme measures! Oh, like…tickling. Yes, if I have to resort to that I _will_!" Xelloss giggled in spite of his tough stance.

"**No** tickling!!" Zel insisted. "So, this is your doing, isn't it? He's doing this because you asked him to, right?"

"Partially. Your grandfather suggested it to Vurumagen and he asked me what I thought. I told him that I thought it would be a perfect fit for your personality, better than Mazouku. I didn't _say_ that, but it's true. You're too…"

"Honest," Zel said dryly.

"Incorruptible," Xelloss smiled.

"That's a load of crap! Look at us lying here in bed like this and tell me that you haven't corrupted me!" Zel half-laughed.

"Not _nearly_ enough," Xelloss smiled. "Not as much as I'd _like_ to."

"Xelloss…" Zel turned his face away, self-consciously.

That just made Xelloss start laughing at him. Not hurtful laughter, more jubilant twittering. He loved to tease his Zel, to make him blush, to see desire cross his face in some form, because someday he knew it would kindle a fire inside and release a passion burning for him, just him, Xelloss his friend and lover, _someday_.

"Sor-ree, Zel-lee!" Xelloss giggled, trying to stifle his noise. "I just can't help it! You are just so damned sexy and soooo close by and wumph! "

Another evening closed with a tender kissing session.

"Ask me why it is I put up with you," Xelloss smiled as he pressed his nose into the back of Zel's head and wiggled it around. "Come on, ask me, again!"

"Fine, then you'll let me go to sleep in peace? All right… sigh Why do you, Xelloss, put up with me, Zelgadiss, the light of your life?"

"Because…I love you, idiot!" Xelloss smiled and wrapped his arms around his friend and settled into his pillow. "My delicious idiot boy…"

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 04.


	5. Part 5

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 05 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

"Ask me why it is I put up with you," Xelloss smiled as he pressed his nose into the back of Zel's head and wiggled it around. "Come on, ask me, again!"

"Fine, then you'll let me go to sleep in peace? All right… sigh Why do you, Xelloss, put up with me, Zelgadiss, the light of your life?"

"Because…I love you, idiot!" Xelloss smiled and wrapped his arms around his friend and settled into his pillow. "My delicious idiot boy…"

"That's not what you _used_ to call me!" Zel frowned.

"Give a little, get a little," Xelloss teased.

~~~~

Training with Vurumagen was a turning point in Zel's life. For the first time he felt connected to his community. Born into the White Shrine, Zelgadiss knew of nothing else but what it had to offer him--all its rules and regulations had appealed to him as a child, as well. He loved order, schedules, even the rigidity hadn't bothered him; that is, until he found that he didn't fit into the tight definitions of 'good citizen'. Without his mother to confide in, Zel had no one to turn to, and so, internalized his suffering, becoming withdrawn and moody. 

It was a wonder that long-term friends like Lina and Gourry stuck by him. However, they did. Perhaps they hoped the inner Zel would come through his 'death' and return to them. Zel chuckled silently thinking how Mazouku of them to believe in reincarnation of any kind!

Leaving the shrine was the best thing he'd ever done, Zel had decided. He didn't fit in there if he loved another boy. And yet, the world of the Mazouku seemed to swing too far the other way, too _little_ order and too _much _chaos. It did accept (and encourage!) his homosexuality, which he needed and was thankful for. Exciting and unpredictable as the life with that order promised, it scared Zel beyond his comfort level. 

Now, listening to the older man explain a few simple rituals to relieve muscle pain, Zelgadiss found himself captivated. He could do this! He understood the methods! The herbal mixes and processes were like chemistry lab, the incantations easy to memorize and rolled off his tongue like his native language. Even his teacher was impressed.

"I had asked Xelloss' opinion first, but I think I would have opted to train you on the sly even if he had opposed it. You are a natural, Zelgadiss, and rare…" Vurumagen said. "And don't think I shower all my students with praise either! Most I simply kick out after the first few days, but with you…I've run through a normal week's worth of work with you and I see no limit to what you can absorb!"

Zelgadiss was speechless. He considered what the man had said before responding. "Oh…I, ah…thank you, Sir. It's so…incredibly fascinating to me. I feel like this was made just for me, or me for it. Could I ask, Sir, what you meant about asking permission from Xelloss? We're supposed to be of equal status. I am free to make my own choices."

"_You_ may be, sometime, but _I_ am not. I am still Mazouku, just a practicing shaman who is Mazouku, and Xelloss is of higher rank than I—not to mention everyone else not seated on the high council. You are a novice in your training as Mazouku and that puts you in an unusual position with regards to rank. Untouchable, but powerless, if you get my drift." 

Zel nodded, "Yeah, that about explains how I feel most of the time. It's weird how some of the other…guys treat me. I can't tell if it's because of my…um…living arrangements with Xelloss, or who I am, or _was_ in the White Shrine, or because I'm…er…gay…or what. Its confusing…but this isn't! These instructions and this material you've shown me is concrete and something I can sink my teeth into, so to speak." Zel barely tried to conceal his excitement.

Vurumagen smiled, "That's the first time I've ever seen you get all worked up about something. Well, good! I'm glad it's over this, because I could use an assistant in fall, if everything works out and you're still interested."

Zel nodded excitedly, "I'll do my best, you'll see. You won't regret the time it takes to train me, Sir."

~~~~

Without the burden of having to work, Xelloss had more time to spend with his favorite 'boys' around the house, to practice his violin, and to rehearse for the musical. The soccer kept him fit, but so did his dance practice. For fun, he decided Zel could dance with him.

"Come _on_, Zel," Xelloss urged his friend again. "I _know_ you can dance and I _need_ a partner."

"But _I_ like to lead," Zel answered petulantly.

"Yes, but _I_ am the King of Siam and _I_ do all the leading in this scene."

"All right, lead on…" Zel sighed, giving in to the pleasure of being held in the older boy's arms. Waltzing with the most beautiful guy he'd ever seen. He felt light and bubbly. His back tingled where a warm hand rested, his waist warmed by another…which was frequently moving lower to caress him…but maybe that was just a mistake. Hah! Xelloss never made that kind of mistake. He was too deliberate and experienced. Well, he didn't really mind… so Zel let him have his fun without a fight, this time.

"You seem to be enjoying this," Xelloss smiled.

"I am. I have had a good few weeks, thanks to you…and Vurumagen."

"Oh? Training going well, I presume?"

"Very!" Zel was nearly breathless with the activity and the rate at which he reported all that the man had said about his progress and possible future. "I understand better how shamanism relates to the rest of the world. It's religion and science combined…You know, all three coexist in one world? So… What do you think?"

"Me? If it makes you this happy and amenable to my advances, then… I'm all for it!" Xelloss laughed and kissed Zel gently, just barely touching his lips. "Really…seriously, I think it's great. I think _you_ are great."

Zel met Xelloss' dark gaze with his deep blue one. "You are making me complete."

Xelloss looked puzzled. "Hmmm?"

Zel explained, "A story an old Greek scholar wrote said that people were once whole, they were created whole. Then, and I forget how and why now, but anyway…there came a time when they were split, people were cut in two, separated and thrown apart. Their purpose in life was to then…that is, for each half to find their other half before they died incomplete and unfulfilled." 

Zel passed one of his long, slender fingers over Xelloss' lower lip, then added in the softest voice, "When I am with you…I feel full of love and totally wonderful and no longer broken. Whole and complete. You are my other half."

Xelloss was flabbergasted. This came from the lips of his shy Zel with the impenetrable exterior? He wasn't sure what to say next. Could he even pretend to feel the same way towards him? No, for once he couldn't lie. "Oh, Zel…that was…nice. I, uh, need to think about that for awhile. I never thought about friendship in that way before. It's so…limiting, I guess." 

He regretted his words the instant he said them. The tiny shadow of disappointment passing across his friend's eyes told him that he had hurt his feelings. "Hey, I didn't say I didn't feel something special between us, Zel. I do love you, you know? I just need to think about what you said. _You've_ certainly given it some thought. Give _me _a chance too, that's all I'm asking!"

Zel nodded, "Of course, I didn't really expect you to feel that way. We haven't known each other that long and you are different from me in many ways." He was backpedaling fast, which made him sound rather pedantic, even to himself. So, he began to speak from his anxious heart. "It's just that you have been…kind of…restricting yourself to just me, lately and I thought…um…" 

Zel was so embarrassed to have exposed his need for commitment right then to his best friend and confessed lover-in-spirit-only. How could he expect someone like Xelloss to be exclusively his? What kind of a foolish dream was that? He hoped that he hadn't just said those deadly words that could drive Xelloss off forever. And one look at Xelloss, and his body language that screamed '**_distress!! _**', told Zelgadiss that he had blown it for sure.

"Gods, please forget I ever said that stuff, Xelloss. I just got some romantic notion stuck in my head and started talking nonsense," Zel said quickly. He pushed away from his dance partner and ran to the door. "I'll handle dinner tonight. I'm going to run to the market. Be right back."

Xelloss stood dumbstruck in the center of the front room. Oh…my…he wants a commitment from me. Do I go for it, or not? Yes, or no? Yes, no? What can I do? Xelloss felt extreme apprehension about this juncture in their relationship. 

He thought for another minute and shook his head. He had thought of a plan, but could he go through with it? He picked up the telephone and dialed Ryo, "Hi, Xelloss here. I need a favor. No, _not_ for me…for Zelgadiss. Yes, a _girl_. She should invite him to the upcoming dance and make her cute _and _nice. Well, let's see how the girl works out first, okay? Yeah…bye." 

He sighed. He was taking the coward's way out and he felt bad, but he had to do _something_! Zel shouldn't get so attached to him and expect the same in return! Imagine _Xelloss _pledged to a _single_ person? Maybe he had considered an attachment, but now he was sure that such a move would be imprudent for a Mazouku in his position. He really needed to take a trip, go travelling, be a free spirit again. He was being smothered here, wasn't he? This was the right and necessary thing to do, right? Right! Yeah, well then why did he feel so…_dirty_ about what he was about to do, then? What was that tight feeling in his chest about?

~~~~

Several days later, Zelgadiss was surprised to get a call from a classmate. Sure he spoke to kids at school, but he rarely received a call.

"Hello? Yes, it's Zel. Oh, hello Kagome, ah…" Zel paused. Why would Inu Yasha's girlfriend be calling him? 

Zel resumed his end of the conversation, "So, what's up? He _did_? That's too bad. Inu's an ass if he can't see how lucky he is to have a girlfriend like you_! What?_ _This_ Friday? Well…yeah, I see your point. It would look better if you secured a date immediately so he could tell you were not hurt by him. I get it…well can I call you back in… five minutes? I need to check my schedule. Kinda busy…soccer," 

Zel glanced over at Xelloss trying to catch his attention, but he seemed absorbed in his script memorization. Zel heard her ask a question, bringing him back to the phone conversation, and answered. "Oh, did I tell you I'd started training with this really awesome shamanist? Yeah, so…I'll call you right back, all right? Bye."

That was out of the blue and odd, but he took pleasure in the fact that she had thought to call him first. He tapped Xelloss on the shoulder to break him out of his reverie. 

"Xelloss?" Zel asked, "I got the strangest call just now. Are we doing anything Friday night? No? Well, Kagome asked me out to the school dance. Pretty strange, huh? Well, her steady boyfriend is a two-timing bastard…oh, you know him, huh? He's taking someone else and she wants to go with me to show him… yeah, whatever. I know you and I are…you know…so if you don't think I should, its no big deal I'll just call her back and say no."

"No, don't do that. I have an idea! Ask her if she can find me a date too and we'll go together. That way we both get to go and you don't feel like you're going without me and…we both like to dance. It could be fun!" Xelloss smiled. He figured he'd have to ease Zel into this dating ritual.

Zel shrugged, "All right, if you think so, I'll ask her…"

As it turned out, she did have a nice friend recently from France who didn't know anyone and would love to come.

"So, you can pick up Kiki at my house and…"

"And we'll go to dinner first, about 6:00? Fine, bye," Zel said. 

~~~~ 

And that was how Zel and Xelloss ended up at the school dance with two lovely ladies in tow.

Xelloss poured on the charm, as usual, making his 'date' feel fortunate to have snagged such a 'killer' on such short notice. Kiki dragged off Kagome to the ladies room while waiting for their deserts to arrive. 

"Where did you find these guys on such short notice?" Kiki, Xelloss' date, asked.

"Not bad, huh? A mutual friend gave me Zel's number and suggested I call him. I've known him for years, but he's never been very sociable, not that loads of girls haven't tried to get Zel to notice them! Rich, nice looking, smart, and funny—everything a certain other someone is lacking…expect the good-looking part," Kagome muttered at the end.

" So that's _Zel_. Tell me about _Xelloss_!" Kiki giggled.

"I don't even know him. He was new this fall and is artsy. Oh, he was Romeo in the winter play and he's in the musical coming up. Someone told me he plays violin, too. He's gorgeous, huh?" Kagome asked.

"Those _eyes_…does he have a girlfriend?" Kiki asked preparing for the inevitable bad news.

"Well, if he does I've never seen him with her! Not that I see him much at school…but Zel said he asked for a date so…He does seem to like you too!" Kagome smiled.

"So what are we doing in here wasting time when two hot guys are out there waiting for us?!" Kiki cried out. They both laughed and hurried back to their table just as their pie slices arrived.

Zelgadiss was mystified. He was having a good time! He was with Xelloss and two girls he hardly knew, and they were conversing, joking, and having a really good time. It felt so…normal. At the dance, they paired off and danced boy-with-girl like all the other couples, or all four together in a bouncing jumble to a rock song. No one stared, pointed, or called them names. Zel realized that he could _do_ this, be with a girl, and feel so normal. His eyes flickered over Xelloss every so often to see how he was reacting. Xelloss sometimes caught his eye and returned a smile or nod, and sometimes he seemed as involved with showing his date a good time as Zel was. 

Once or twice, Zel wanted to reach out and reinforce his connection with Xelloss. He did brush up close a couple of times, but Xelloss simply smiled and backed off, giving him his space. Well, it was probably just as well. Tonight they were just two normal guys having fun at a dance with two nice girls.

Zel dropped Kiki off at her home first. Xelloss politely walked her to her door. They spoke together for a couple minutes, then waved and Xelloss returned to the car. "Why don't you drop me off next, okay? Oh, at Gourry's to pick up…something from Val…about the play." 

He nearly said 'Daemon' but caught himself in time. That whole son-thing was not something to bring up on a first date. Zel understood and agreed. After dropping Xelloss in front of Gourry's house, he took Kagome to hers.

"Zelgadiss? I had a really good time tonight. I never knew how much time I had wasted chasing after that jerk, Inu… I could have been going out with you! I mean, if you'd wanted to…" Kagome demurred.

"I didn't know…you very well. I don't make friends easily, as you probably know," Zel said to cover for his mixed emotions.

"No I don't! I think you're a really interesting guy. I, um…think Kiki really liked Xelloss tonight too. Do you think…?"

"You might like to try this again?" Zel finished for her. They both chuckled. "I think that might be arranged…"

~~~~ 

In fact, the four kids went out miniature golfing the next Friday and to a Sunday matinee the one after that! From then on, it became an expectation. Where should we all go? What should we do this time? Zelgadiss found that he liked being able to go places and not feel ashamed if he held his date's hand, because his date was a _she_ and not a _he_. When he kissed Kagome goodnight, it felt…nice. It didn't transport him like a make-out session with Xelloss' had, but the kisses were nice, warm and tender. _She_ was nice, warm, and soft. Soft in different places than his love, but that was pleasurable, too. Yes, Zelgadiss was finding himself very attracted to Kagome, despite his continued devotion to Xelloss.

"I can't make it this time, sorry. The musical practices are starting in earnest now…and, as you can remember from last winter, my free time becomes quite limited. What movie are you going to see? Ah, well, maybe another time, okay? Oh, and don't worry, I can get a ride home from someone. Don't worry about me and have some fun!" Xelloss urged him. 

"Oh, all right, but let's not make a habit of this," Zelgadiss said. 

He was feeling torn in two. He liked leading a comparatively normal, teenage existence with Kagome and he liked her, at lot. But his breath still caught in his throat when he watched Xelloss in soccer, he melted at his touch, and longed to fall asleep in his arms at night. _When _he fell asleep in his arms… 

Xelloss often got in late, after Zelgadiss had already gone to sleep. Once a week, Zelgadiss might come in from a date with Kagome after Xelloss had gone to sleep. It was strange and unsettling. Could he live without Xelloss in his life? Something he wouldn't have imagined a few months ago now presented itself as a possibility. The unthinkable was conceivable. Maybe he wasn't gay after all? Zel researched the Internet and discovered that bi-sexuality was not so uncommon occurrence. Well, maybe he was 'bi'. He could get married and raise a family like most everyone else. 

He had fallen in love with Xelloss, but that wasn't necessarily the end of his story. It depended upon whether or not Zel could get interested in Kagome in 'that way' or not. But how could he know without becoming intimate with her and breaking his promises to Xelloss? Of course, Xelloss never held him to those promises, being unable to honor them himself, Zel supposed. Well, he could give it a go and see what happened. Kagome would most likely tell him no and that would put an end to it. But what if she didn't? What if she agreed to have _sex_, what then? He couldn't bring himself to go that far, it wasn't…right. Zelgadiss became confused and tense and looked foreword to his next date with a nervous mixture of apprehension and excitement.

"Hi."

"Hi, you're still up, huh?"

"Yeeeees. You're back early from you movie, aren't you?" Xelloss asked.

"Ah, yes, well…we didn't go to a movie. We went over to her house and...her folks were out," Zel said. He was uncomfortable and his voice shook a little.

Xelloss had been memorizing his lines while stretched out on the couch, but now he sat up. "Oh? Zel? What's the matter? You look…well, _neurotic_. Sit down beside me. You're shaking! Zel, you can tell me anything, you know. Something happened tonight, something important."

Zel sat stiffly and nodded. "I like her, Xelloss. I like Kagome a lot."

"I see… and did you have sex with her?"

Zel's eyes flew open and heat flushed his face red. He shook his head, "N-no…but I _thought_ about it. I _wanted_ to, Xelloss, and I _never_ felt that way before, and it was for a _girl_ and…I don't know what to _do _about it, Xelloss! I love _you_! I _love_ you…but I think I might be falling in love with her too. I _think,_ but I don't _know_." 

"Ah, well…" Xelloss sighed. "That's okay, Zel. It isn't your fault. It's not like you've done anything wrong, babe. That sort of thing happens all the time…"

"NOT TO ME!" Zel wailed. "Not…to me… I feel like my head's going to come off! I don't want to wreak us, but I don't want to give up the chance at…"

"At being able to live a normal life, right? I _understand_, Zel. You don't _think_ I do, but I do. And…you don't have to decide anything tonight, or tomorrow, or even next week. Think about it, some, but let it rest also, and just enjoy the different feelings. Things will sort themselves out, take it from me," Xelloss smiled slightly.

"How can you be so dispassionate and so calm about this? I'm a _mess _and I'm _the cause of it all_! I-I don't want _us_ to end, Xelloss." Tears sprang unbidden and unwelcome from Zel's eyes. "I-I don't want _us_ to end…_this_ to end…I want it _all_…"

Xelloss wrapped his arms around the poor kid and held his shaking form tight to his chest. "Life's about change, Zel. Remember when you didn't want to move in here with me? Sure, you do. You were a real prick about it at first, but see how well it turned out? You wouldn't have met Vurumagen and found your calling…well, so soon, anyway. Maybe this was all meant to be so that you could learn all this and grow? Who knows? I don't, that's for sure, and I don't blame you. You need freedom to grow, develop yourself, change. So do I!"

Zel managed to blurt out between sobs, "Don't…you _dare_…say…that this…is for the…best."

"Okay…I won't. I think we've said enough for tonight, don't you? We've got an early morning game and it will be hard enough for you to sleep as it is, so why don't you go of to bed now," Xelloss said in a low voice.

"A-aren't you coming too?" Zel said, barely able to speak.

"Ah, I think I'll sleep out here tonight, if you don't mind. Zel, listen, if you want to give it a chance with her, you shouldn't be sleeping with me, right? No, you didn't suggest it, _I_ did. I think we should… do this…for awhile, at least."

Zel was so upset he couldn't speak any longer. He ran off to their…_his_ room and flung himself on the bed and cried. He cried as if he'd lost his only friend. Well he _had_! Xelloss had been his very best friend and now…he'd gone and messed that up, hadn't he? The only person who really cared about him, who told him that he loved him each and every night and what had HE gone and done? He'd told him that he was ready to trade all that for someone else he'd only really known a month! And Xelloss was LETTING him do it! _Helping_ him grow apart…to have the possibility of a 'normal' life…Xelloss was allowing it as if he wanted it too.

Gods! Zelgadiss was miserable, and yet he knew that it was inevitable. Happiness would always evade him, wouldn't it? What should he do? What?

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 05.


	6. Part 6

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 06 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

Gods! Zelgadiss was miserable, and yet he knew that it was inevitable. Happiness would always evade him, wouldn't it? What should he do? What?

The next morning Daemon begged to go along to their soccer game and watch. Too tired emotionally to argue, Zel agreed, and hoped Xelloss wouldn't mind. That's when he found the note. 

"Well, looks like your dad's already gone and caught a ride with Gourry, so it'll just be you and me, all right?" Zel asked, trembling as he tried to restrain himself from breaking down and crying at that moment.

He did though. And he fixed them both breakfast and washed up. He moved in a daze, mechanically doing the chores required. He dressed in his soccer clothes, packed a change of clothes, and called Daemon to the car.

"Yeah! I get to sit up front with you!" Daemon smiled and hugged Zel.

"Sure…" Zel murmured. He didn't even remember the drive to the game. Too bad he couldn't wipe the memory of the game from his mind as well.

The game was a torturous experience for Zel. He was listless, hardly going for balls an easy stride away. Every time he cast an expectant look Xelloss' way, his friend would suddenly look elsewhere, or so it seemed to Zel. If Xelloss meant to give him a little space, then to Zelgadiss it was feeling more like a rapidly expanding, gaping crevasse, complete with a wormhole to who-knows-where and a blackhole to hell. 

Gourry went over to Zel during the halftime break to find out if he was sick or something. Zel assured him he'd snap out of it, but the coach sidelined him for the next quarter anyway. Daemon scooted from the stands to sit beside him and hold his hand. Intuitively, the little boy knew something was wrong, even if Zel wouldn't talk about it.

Luckily, their opponents were not very good, or their team would have lost. Xelloss hadn't made a goal, but one of his passes to Ranma had resulted in their only one, the _only _one in a boring game. So far, their record was untarnished, and the season was nearly over.

At the end of the game, Daemon ran out to hug his dad. The coach was shocked to find out how old the little boy really was, and how young Xelloss must have been as a newly-made father, between thirteen and fourteen. His teammates held him in awe now. Rumors of his hot dates with Kiki, though now over, had improved his overall image, in their minds. And of course, they all had heard that Zel was very involved with Inu Yasha's ex-girlfriend, Kagome. All memories of the earlier 'gay' insinuations were shoved into the background to make way for these new, and _confirm_-able, pieces of information.

After showering, Gourry took Xelloss aside for a word. "What's the matter? Zel looks like he's in a bad way."

"Ah, well, now…that's a secret…for now, hmmm?" Xelloss smiled slightly and tried to step away.

Gourry blocked his path, "Maybe so, but he's my friend and teammate."

"Then try asking _him_ then." Xelloss frowned and turned away, but Gourry stopped him with a hand to the shoulder.

"I hope you haven't replaced him…" Gourry said in near whisper.

"No… it's more the other way around. Now excuse me while I go check on my son outside," Xelloss said curtly.

Zel was sick at heart all day. They continued in an imitation of one of their congenial days at home, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and entertaining Daemon—whose friend, Chuckie, was locked away at home with another cold. Xelloss had another play practice that night, including a first fitting for their costumes, which meant he'd be gone longer than usual. 

Zel's thoughts were in turmoil. He had to do something; take some action; take back some control over his destiny! Zel called his grandfather and asked if he'd like to baby-sit Daemon and stay over-night. 

"Yes, it _is_ short notice, I'm sorry. Yes, it _is_ important. Yes, I'll be over in a few minutes. And, um…can I stay over night too? Both of us? Thanks…grandfather, good-bye."

Zel's next call was to Kagome, "Hi, yeah…we need to talk. Can I come by and pick you up about 6:00? We'll come back here and I'll show you where I live, all right with you? Good, then…later…bye."

Zel jotted a quick note and taped it to the bathroom door for Xelloss to find, whenever he came in. It read: 'Daemon and I are at the shrine visiting grandfather over-night—Zel'.

He called Daemon away from the video game he was intent on beating and told him about his plans to go to the shrine. Daemon was pleased and ran off into his room to pack a few things. 

A few minutes later, an impatient Zel called out half-heartedly, "Ready to go?" He wasn't looking foreword to anything he was about to do.

"Ready!" Daemon cried out. "I got my jammies and toofbruf…toofffbrufh…that sound funny with missing teef doesn't it?"

The little boy grinned, showing a gapped-toothed smile.

"Sure does," Zel smiled 

He hugged Daemon, helped him into the car, and dropped him at the shrine in Eris' care. "I'll be back to say good-night," he promised, then sped off to his meeting with Kagome.

~~~~ 

"This looks cute!" she gushed. They'd parked in front of Vurumagen's cottage-like home. 

"Well, actually I live in back, a small rental house. This way… Yes, it is small, but big enough for all three of us…" Zel ventured.

"Three? Who are the others?"

"Xelloss and his son. This is Daemon's room. He's six. And this is the kitchen…sunroom…"

"Oh, this is the best!" She cried. The sunroom was the best looking place in the entire house, to be sure.

"Thank you. We just had it built on over spring break," he said.

"Had it built? Are you guys brothers or something?"

"Or…something…" he muttered as she opened the door to 'their' room.

"So who sleeps in here?"

"We do. It's our room."

"Cozy…" she turned to look at her friend. 

Zel's aloof composure was gone. He had decided to drop all pretenses and come clean with his relationship with Xelloss. 

The cold realization of what was going on crept over Kagome. "Zel?" she whispered, "What are you trying to tell me?"

"He's my best friend and…my boyfriend as well. We share a bed, or did until…lately. We never…_did_ anything…"

"You mean you just slept. No sex or anything?"

"Not exactly, we kissed, a lot. I…love him, Kagome, deeply. But I love you too, at least I'm starting to. I told him after that night…when we nearly, you know…He's been sleeping out the couch ever since." 

Zel drew a deep breath. Well that's over… "I had to tell you too, the truth about _me_. I really care for you and I'm so confused and messed up. But I couldn't let us become any more involved without telling you, could I? It wouldn't be fair to any of us to pretend any longer."

"Why did you take to long to tell me, Zel?" Kagome asked. Her voice sounded a bit shaky, but she was holding up well under the circumstances.

"I wanted to be _sure_, at least _somewhat_, that it was worth making chaos of so many lives first," Zel said.

They were sitting at the table in the sunroom when Xelloss walked in the door. "Oh! Hello, I'm a bit earlier than I thought. Sorry if I'm interrupting anything," he said plastering a mirthless smile on his face.

"No, Xelloss, you weren't. Zel was just about to take me home," Kagome said and stood up to prove it was true. 

Her eyes moved from Zel to Xelloss and she knew Zel had told the truth. The look in Zel's deep blue eyes was overflowing with adoration for the other boy standing in the other room. It hurt. Whatever he may _think_ he felt for her, she _knew_ he'd never look upon her in the same way, reflecting the same depth of emotion.

Zel mumbled self-consciously, "Um… I'll be back in a few minutes, then I have some other plans after that…"

"Take your time. I'm bushed. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. Just be quiet on your way in," Xelloss said lightly. His gaze settled on the note a moment. He nodded, tore it off, and then dove into the bathroom.

At her door, Kagome refused Zel's goodnight kiss with a hand, "I have to think about what you've said, Zel. I _don't_ know how serious I am about you, and I _don't_ know if I like the idea of sharing you."

"Understand, Zel…" she cleared her throat, unable to speak as she felt a wave of sorrow trouble her heart and constrict her chest. "Inu told me a similar thing not long ago and…it's very hard for me to think straight right now. Please, just go now and don't call me for a few days while I work this out for myself. I'll see you Monday in English class and we'll go from there."

Zel nodded and let her go. He wondered if he had done the right thing by telling her about his feelings for Xelloss, while his feelings were still so strong. He questioned everything he said and did these days, though. Next stop, home. He needed to talk to Xelloss and let him know what had transpired.

"Xelloss? I know you haven't fallen asleep yet but if you don't want to talk then… can you just listen for a minute to what I have to say?"

Xelloss sat up and pulled the covers off his head. He nodded silently, "I thought you were going to the shrine?"

"I _said_ I'd come back first…to talk," Zel said. His voice wavered. He hated all this!

"I brought Kagome here to show her where I…WE lived…and _how_ we lived. I told her about _us_, Xelloss. That we were boyfriends and that I…that I do _still_…love you. That I _might_ be starting to have similar feeling for her…I'm not sure about that part, but I thought I owed it to her, to…to tell her where things stood before going any further."

"What…did she say?" Xelloss said in a voice so low, that Zel scarcely could make out the words.

"I don't think she took the news well. She wants time to think and asked me not to call her for awhile," Zel sighed.

"I see. I'm sorry for you, Zel, if you lose her. That was a terrible risk to take, maybe for nothing," Xelloss said, voice low and cold.

"Not for _nothing_! If she _agrees_, then I feel I've been _honest_ and can explore my feelings. If _not_, then I _know_ it was never meant to be," Zel argued. He wanted Xelloss to say how felt about him now.

"Well then, everything will work out for the best-- for _you_," Xelloss said, a nasty edge to his voice creeping through. "Now, I am _really_ exhausted and have a busy day tomorrow, so…good night." Xelloss rolled over and effectively ended the conversation.

There was nothing left to do or say, so Zelgadiss left his house with the sinking feeling that his entire world was crumbling around him.

~~~~ 

Sunday, the next day, was filled with chores. Xelloss stationed himself at the Laundromat most of the afternoon, leaving Zel to ponder his life alone, endlessly. They slept apart again that night.

~~~~ 

Monday morning Zel was aching inside from all the pain he'd been inflicting upon his psyche. He moved from one class to the next in a fog. Kagome, true to her word, saw him in English class and passed him a note. It was short, 'meet me by my locker after school and we can talk on the way to my house-K'.

During lunch, Zel arranged with Gourry to meet the two little boys at their elementary school and take them over to his house. "I know Xelloss will be late with the musical all week and I'll be about an hour late, I guess." 

"That's fine with me, Zel. I just hope you know what you're doing, that's all." Gourry returned to his food and thought about Lina some more.

"I don't, but I will have a better idea soon, I think," Zel muttered and left to take a solitary walk through the halls.

~~~~ 

"Hi. Thanks for meeting me here, Zel. Is your car outside? I'd rather not talk here," Kagome said trying to sound breezy and carefree. 

Zel nodded and led her out through the rain to where his car was parked and opened her door. He ran around to the driver's seat, slid in, and started the engine. "Where to, or do you care?"

"Just home. I have a lot of homework." Both of them were speaking in a clipped fashion, discomfort apparent in their body language. 

Zel pulled into the empty parking lot at the neighborhood park, halfway between school and Kagome's house. He dipped his chin and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. "Tell me what you have to say, Kagome, and get it over with. I have the feeling it's not going to be any easier the longer you wait."

"Okay…I saw Inu on Sunday…"

Zel felt icy fingers travel under his scalp, then slide down, until they could clench his stomach in a glacial grip.

"We're going to give it another try, Zel. This is separate from you. He and I have a lot of history together and…I think you'll understand how it feels to be torn between two people, two worlds. So…I think we should stop seeing one another from now on…as a couple. But I'd like to remain friends… That's possible, isn't it?" she asked. Tears were standing in her eyes ready to fall at any second.

"Friends? Sure, Kagome, I'd like that. Thanks for letting me know and all," he sighed and started the car. 

She placed her hand on his arm, "This hasn't anything to do about…you and Xelloss. I want you to know that. I was a little shocked, but I can accept it, maybe even the sharing part, but… I hope you can find out how to make it work, I really do."

"I do too," he said to himself.

After dropping Kagome off at her house, Zel drove to Gourry's to take Daemon home. They stopped for hamburgers and shakes on the way, but Zel hadn't any appetite and Daemon's was obviously off. Back home, Daemon went to his room to play alone for a few minutes, then peeked out the door to watch what Zel was doing. Zel was sitting and staring at the blank TV.

"Zel?"

"Yes, Daemon?"

"Are you going to leave me and Daddy?" his little voice wavered on the brink of crying.

"What?" The question shocked Zel back into reality for a moment. "No, Daemon. I'm not. Things are just confused right now." 

There are moments when there is a sudden clarification in a person's brain, where many things come together, shuffle themselves about some, then re-formulate in a logical way a new thought. For Zel, this was one of those moments. All this time he'd been thinking about himself, his feelings, his needs, him, him, him. But, with this little boy sitting beside him, his perspective was re-arranged and his point of view was expanded instantly.

"I think _daddy's_ going to take me away then. He's been calling about airplanes to places," Daemon blurted out. "I-I don't want to go! I like it here! I've got lots of friends and stuff and I like my school and my room and…I finally got a Grandmother and Gampa Rezo right here! And I love my room! **My** room! And I love _you_, Zel! I-I'm yours…don't you still w-want me?"

Daemon dove into Zel's arms sobbing. Daemon's bluntness hit him like a kick to the stomach. Gods, what had he done!

Zel brushed away a few of his own tears and held the little boy tightly, "I _do_ want you. I _do_ love you…you and your father **both**. You're the most important people in my _life_, and I won't let him take you away…I won't let _him_ go. I promise. I don't know how I can fix this mess I've made, but I will, Daemon…I will…"

Xelloss, meanwhile, was having to fight his own demons. The musical was in the last stages of pre-production, a chaotic time always. He usually thrived in this atmosphere. He would be totally prepared and jubilant amidst a sea of everyone else's frustrations and problems. However, this time his mood swung from the merely apathetic to the absolutely melancholy.

"I _know_ I must be certifiable for doing this, but when I drop you at your house tonight, Xelloss, I'm going to stop for coffee or something, first. You look like you need someone's head to bash in," Nuriko sighed.

Xelloss looked at him askance, "Or heart to rip apart?"

"Already been there," Nuriko smiled faintly.

"Then we might as well go now. In this mess, we'll never be missed," Xelloss muttered and stole out of the rehearsal room.

Nuriko drove to a local diner and ordered two banana splits. He waited for Xelloss to start talking, and ate his own treat.

"Well? Your ice cream sundae has melted and you haven't taken a bite. Now I know it's serious," Nuriko chuckled.

"Oh. It is. I don't know what went wrong. I've been through this over and over and it's never affected me like this before. Why should it matter that he's fallen for a girl? That's what I wanted, right? No commitments free to come and go and do what I want, right? Like always!" Xelloss stuck a finger into the melting mess and licked it clean.

"You're talking about you and Zelgadiss, I take it?" Nuriko sighed.

Xelloss nodded. "I could tell he wanted more from me, loyal ass that he was, so I gave Ryo a call to set him up with a diversion. Fine. He got one all right. A really great one, problem is…Zel doesn't just run off and have a fling… **_he worries about me_**! He starts wondering how to juggle the two of us in his life, for shits'sake! When he figures he might be getting 'feelings' for the girl, he tells her about US! Now, what girl's gonna want to share her boyfriend with…"

"Her boyfriend's boyfriend? Oh, that's asking a lot!" Nuriko gasped.

"Yeah, so I found out from _her_ ex-boyfriend's friend, Miroku, that the 'ex' wants to start over and take her back. Oh, yeah…so by now Zel's at home, broken hearted over that and…God's I don't know how I feel now!" Xelloss moaned.

"Oh, sure ya do," Nuriko smiled. "You have got it bad, man. Oh, _yeah_. The playboy Xelloss has finally, actually, really and truly fallen in _love_. Hey, you are…what…over twenty? It's about _time_. Sure, Zel's just a kid, but he's great guy, isn't he? It may not be too late to mend things between you two, but you will have to come clean about what you've done. If I know anything about Zel, he's probably overwhelmed with guilt for being _the_ cause of the _entire_ fiasco. He might even try and kill himself!"

"No!"

"He's a loner type, he might. He's turned to drugs in the past. A little too much and snap problems are solved." Nuriko stared at Xelloss serious for once.

"Take me home, Nuriko…and thanks for listening," Xelloss said as he pulled him to his feet.

Xelloss ran up the walk to the house. The lights were out—no, one was burning in the back, Daemon's room? Oh, no… He hoped that Nuriko had been wrong about Zel being so desperate or so depressed. He unlocked the door and wrenched it open, then saw Zel's huddled form on the couch. Oh **NO**! It's not _possible_! He _couldn_'t have killed himself! _No_! What was _that_?

His panic subsided as he made out Daemon's tiny hand on Zel's shoulder, the dim porch light lending a warm glow to his skin. Yes, his chest was rising and falling. On closer inspection, Xelloss could tell that they had fallen asleep, Daemon on Zel's chest. Tears streaked both boys' cheeks, now dried. They looked peaceful, but it couldn't last much longer.

Xelloss claimed his son and carried his sleeping figure quietly back to his own room, tucked him into his own bed and kissed him goodnight. Xelloss returned to Zel and shook his head.

"Zel? I hate to wake you, but…you will be more comfortable in your own bed. Come on and I'll help you up."

"Xelloss?" Zel muttered sleepily, but allowed himself to be led away.

He slipped under the covers and Xelloss kissed him lightly on the top of his head. "Go back to sleep and we'll talk tomorrow."

As Xelloss straightened, Zel grasped his arm. "Please stay."

Xelloss began to shake his head, no, but sighed instead. "Okay, Zel…move over a bit though."

He ripped off his clothes and climbed under the warm covers. To his surprise, Zel curled around him and spooned close, whispering, "I love you, Xelloss. I thought you should know …even if you never ask me, again…I just wanted to tell you how I felt."

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 06.


	7. Part 7

**__**

Ask Me, Again

(Sequel to: Tell Me, Now and Remind Me, Later)

~***~~***~~***~~***~ Part 07 ~***~~***~~***~~***~

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to.

He ripped off his clothes and climbed under the warm covers. To his surprise, Zel curled around him and spooned close, whispering, "I love you, Xelloss. I thought you should know …even if you never ask me, again…I just wanted to tell you how I felt."

The following week flew by… Xelloss and Zel maintained a polite atmosphere around the house, with a level of tension that was just at tolerance level. Xelloss had to focus on the musical with dress rehearsals that Thursday and Friday and performances starting on the weekend and continuing through to the next. It was a grueling schedule that gave them no time to resolve personal problems or even touch on the basic issues at stake.

Zel wanted to find out what travel plans Xelloss had in the making, first off, then delve into their complicated home life, and lastly deal with their edgy romance-that-wasn't. 

On top of everything else, the final two soccer games of the season coincided with the musical, although at different times. Xelloss only had so much energy, though, and he knew he'd have to miss one of the weekend games. Coach didn't like that news, but since the musical was a school activity, he had no recourse but to agree and choose missing the first game over the last. Xelloss agreed, since he'd be more rested for the last game and could do a better job for the team.

It was a terrific morning for a game; the air was sparkling-clean from the previous night's rain, which left the grass damp, but not too soggy. It afforded them no excuses for their poor performances, which resulted in their team's only loss of the season, despite an unflagging attempt by Ranma to fill Xelloss' shoes as well as his own. Gourry blocked all but one shot, the single goal of the game, and alas, the winning one for the opposition. If they won the next, the last, game, they would be tied for the championship for Seyruun and would be guaranteed a playoff spot in the regionals. That was the first time in six years Seyruun high had made the regionals. They _had_ to win that last game, though, and if Xelloss wasn't up to it, there was no assurance of that either!

Xelloss was resting at home, lunch finished, but some saved over for Zel on the table. He had some time before he would have to show up at school for that evening's performance, the first real one. The final run-though on Thursday had been a major screw-up and Friday's dress rehearsal was marginally better. But Xelloss knew from experience that most things would work themselves out by ShowTime. It was just a play, a few moments in the spotlight, life was the real test and he was on for that 24-7. 

"Hi," Xelloss said as Zel clamored into the house.

"Yeah, hi," Zel said softly. He looked around and saw his lunch spread out on the table. "Food? Hey, thanks."

"So? How did the game go?"

Zel smirked, "How did the _dress rehearsal_ go last night?"

Xelloss smiled, "That bad, huh?"

Zel nodded then shrugged, "Not really, but we lost one to zip. We missed your boot and scoring ability, but it wasn't your fault. The other team was tough and got a lucky break—well, not so much _lucky_ as they spotted _the_ weakness in our defense and took advantage of it."

"They got by Doug?"

"Oh, yeah…he couldn't keep up with his man, the guy got past him and got a spectacular shot off. Gourry nearly blocked it, but he couldn't be everywhere at once. If Doug spent less time smoking dope and more time getting in shape, he'd be a better player." Zel sat back and ate his sandwich. Sports were good safe topics to discuss. Nothing too personal or meaningful to agitate the edgy nerves.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there. I know they all blame me for copping out when it's an important game," Xelloss sighed.

"Actually, no one said that at all. Nobody stepped up, and that's the facts. Anyway, I think the whole team's gonna be there tonight to see you…and hear you. Most of them have never been to a school musical before, so you see, you're bringin' culture to jock-land!" Zel chuckled.

Xelloss rolled his eyes, but chuckled as well. It was a relief to relax and converse with his good friend again. "I am soooo influential! My next task should be to turn them all into fags and bring them all to fairyland."

It wasn't all that funny, but it was an excuse for them both to laugh and diffuse a little more tension. Xelloss checked his watch. "I need to go in a few minutes…"

"Wanna ride?" Zel asked, then he hopped up and took a little bow, " Ahem, _may_ I give the King of Siam a ride to the ball?" Zel smirked his trademark sarcastic half-smile from beneath his long bangs.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm a bit nervous…" Xelloss smiled faintly. Grabbing his jacket and flinging it over his arm, Xelloss lead them to Zel's car.

The ride over took a few minutes. Zel parked close to where he could see other kids walking to the backstage entrance. 

"Well, wish me luck, okay?" Xelloss whispered. He gave Zel a small hug, more brotherly than anything else and reached for his jacket.

Zel waited for him to put on his jacket, then he hugged him back. Tears were flooding his eyes, to his eternal shame for displaying such childish weakness. He would probably leave wet marks on Xelloss' lapel, but it felt so good to be in his arms. It was a joyous, and very nervous, feeling. One that satisfied him completely, and yet made him crave more. A strange combination indeed. Xelloss looked into his eyes as he backed away from him.

"I'll be back tonight," Zel's husky voice intoned. "Break a leg!"

"Damn, I hope not!" Xelloss laughed nervously. "That's the stupidest 'good luck' wish ever created!" He shook his head, then disappeared inside, leaving Zel alone to ponder their uncertain relationship, as usual.

~~~~ 

Zel had offered to drive Gourry, Chuckie and Daemon to watch the musical that evening. Gourry had, in turn, invited them in for a home-cooked meal beforehand. Val had already left to pick up Filia and eat out at the Cephied Clan settlement. They would meet the others there later, or not if it was too crowded. 

"Then again," Zel joked. "Perhaps we should sit with the _jocks_ to explain what the show's about?"

Gourry beamed. He wasn't the sharpest guy, but Zel never treated him as anything but his mental equal. As a result, Gourry gave Zel a lot of slack for _his_ shortcomings. That was what friendships were for, after all. Gourry chuckled, "Yeah, maybe we should, but maybe they'd be better off bein' in the dark." 

"Heh…yeah. When it comes to Xelloss, the less they know, the better off they are," Zel said.

Gourry gave him a strange look, "How _are_ things goin' with ya? Oh, uh…ya don't hav'ta say nothin', Zel, if ya don't wanta."

Zelgadiss got a bit misty-eyed and Gourry looked away. "Well…it's over between Kagome and me. And my relationship with Xelloss? Only time will tell…" His voice caught in his throat, clipping his sentence short.

They finished eating, dropping the subject. After a few strained minutes, the two little boys ran into the room. "Is it time to go yet?" they yelled.

"Pretty soon," Gourry answered.

~~~~ 

When Xelloss stomped onto the stage, the audience made a collective gasp. His distinctive purple hair was mostly pushed up into a golden turban with a ruby jewel gleaming on his forehead between his dark, expressive eyebrows. He stood stiffly, arm folded across his bare chest, glaring at the pretty young 'teacher' from England. His muscles shone with oil, pectorals flexed and visible with only a short brocade vest covering his back and sides. He wore black silky pants tied at the ankles and baggy around his hips and thighs. On his feet were gold slippers with up-curled toes. How he managed to dance in those was a tribute to his many hours of practice. He looked like an arrogant king of Siam, and when he opened his mouth and recited his lines, he sounded like one too. 

Zelgadiss was entranced. His eyes never left the object of his affection. He imagined it was himself, dancing in his arms, helping him practice, just as they had done at home in their front room. And he knew he wasn't alone. How many other girls and boys were thinking the same thing? Lots, he figured. But not that many, at this school anyway, had held the real thing. Funny, he had never thought Xelloss looked part Asian, but with the hair off his face and eyes exposed Xelloss looked quite different, and sexy as hell.

"Is that guy _really_ Daddy?' Daemon whispered to Zel as the intermission was coming to an end.

"Yes, he's the King of a place in Asia and he wants to learn the English ways. See? And the lady in the big dress…she's the governess for the children, but it's really him who is her student," Zel whispered quickly. 

Daemon nodded and passed the information over to his friend, who passed it on to his big brother. From the puzzled expression on Gourry's face, something must have been lost in the communication system.

When the big dance number got into full swing, Zel pitied the poor girl who had to dance so energetically with Xelloss and hold up that monstrous shirt to keep from tripping. Xelloss whispered something in her ear, causing her to blush and smile, but otherwise kept in character throughout the entire show. For a high school production, Zel was impressed, of course anything short of falling on his face and blowing every line, would have impressed him with Xelloss in the lead! No wonder he came home and crashed every day! That was a workout and a half on stage! 

The soccer team found Zel and Gourry after the show and passed on congratulations for Xelloss' performance. "We never see him at school so tell him, okay. He's awe-some! See ya guys at the game next week! Last one if we lose!" Several teammates shouted, then filed out with the rest of the audience.

Soon the only people remaining were the parents and friends waiting to take their tired actors home.

"Hey!"

"Daddy! You were really funny looking!" 

"Was I? Cool, huh?" Xelloss smiled. His hair, released from the confines of the turban, hung limply. His eyes reflected exhaustion.

"Xelloss!" Zel called out. Daemon had run to his father's arms the minute he appeared in the lobby. Zel assumed that Xelloss would not want to turn heads with a display of affection from him, so he held back.

"You waited? That's nice, though I could have gotten a ride home," Xelloss smiled. "Where's Gourry?"

"Oh, he and Chuckie took a ride from Val and Filia, so I could fit you in. You were great, Xelloss," Zel smiled shyly. 

He saw that they were the center of attraction, or that Xelloss was. Several kids and their parents wanted to offer him a ride home. Zel hoped that he hadn't made a mistake in waiting for him that way. Xelloss hadn't _said_ he wanted him to give him a ride home. Whatever Xelloss had planned though- if anything- he was politely turning each offer down now.

"Want me to carry you to the car?" Zel smirked.

"I wish!"

"Carry me?" Daemon asked. "No, not you Daddy, you're all wet and smelly. I want Zel to!"

Zel did, although he admonished him for being very spoiled, too old, and much too heavy.

When they got home, Xelloss stripped, showered, and passed out on the bed. At this rate if he only had to eat and drink, he'd make to through the week. Zelgadiss was a bit disappointed that they would have no time to 'talk', but understood. Dealing with 'them' would simply take more energy than Xelloss had to spare. 

So, Zel buried himself in his books, buried his feelings, and reverted to his previous stone-cold personality. He retreated into his protective shell allowing only Daemon access and took over the housekeeping duties. It was an existence no one would wish on their worst friends, but the end was in sight. The end of what, though? Zel could only hope that some portion of their friendship could survive this period. Limbo. Purgatory. He was living partly in one world, partly in another. Partly boyfriends, partly brothers. Totally awfully! 

~~~~ 

He wished the week was over. Only five more days, then four, then three remained, when something of interest occurred to alter the tedium, which consumed Zel's life. Zelgadiss was unloading his books at his locker and running through the countdown of days remaining, when a teacher tapped him on the shoulder. As Zel spiraled out of his revere and into reality, he recognized, at last, the orchestra director from the numerous concerts to which he had accompanied Xelloss.

"Yes, Sir?"

"You are a close friend of Xelloss' correct?" 

"Yes. We share a house. Anything else?" Zel frowned. He didn't like anyone meddling in his personal life.

"Would you kindly see that he gets this envelope? I would like him to look the material over this weekend. I'm afraid he hasn't much time to make a decision and complete the applications."

Zel gave him a sidelong glance, "I don't know. He's going to be very busy this weekend, what with the musical and our soccer team's final game. He's got a lot on his plate right now. If he left that behind, it's probably for a good reason." There that should send the guy packing, Zel thought.

The man sighed, "You're a tough one, I've got to hand it to you. No wonder he thinks so much of you, and your opinion."

All right, he's got my attention, Zel's eyes softened.

"There is a worldwide violin contest, I guess is a simple way of putting it. It runs throughout the summer, culminating in a final selection of one hundred of the best of the best and a substantial prize. The first cut begins here in Seyruun as soon as school is over. I think…no…I _know_ he has an excellent chance to make that cut, then it's off to England, Germany, and Norway if he progresses through each level. He has talent, but lacks…"

"Focus," Zel supplied. "He's a free spirit in many ways. I know he loves his violin, and I'd like to help…Yes, in fact…I _will._ I'll see that he gets this and reads it and if possible, I'll even fill out the papers for him. He loves to travel and has lived in Europe most of his life, so this should interest him. It would lend him some purpose to the summer…" Zel's voice trailed off as a scheme took form in his mind.

"Thank you, Zelgadiss. You are a good friend for him. He's in serious need of discipline at times."

Zel smiled then, "Yes, he's a child of chaos, you know, a high level Mazouku."

"Ah…well, then…that explains a lot. And you are…?"

"His best friend, although, right now…I'm not so sure. I've got to go now. Trust me, I'll see that he gets this and takes care of it on Sunday, but not before," Zel said and left, carrying his package. Now he needed the right opining to present this…

"What a strange young man," the teacher muttered to himself. "Like bookends, those two. At opposite ends of the same problem. Matched, but different and dependent on the other one holding up his end of a difficult arrangement, I imagine…"

~~~~ 

Zel safely stowed the large, brown envelope out of sight at home. Now, he knew, was not the time to broach any knew idea or place any new responsibility on Xelloss' shoulders. 

"Hi."

"Hi, Xelloss. Hmmm, smells good in here. Cooking?"

"Yeah, it's relaxing, when I know what to make and do not have to plan and prepare a meal while I'm starving. It seems all I've been capable of doing is eating and sleeping around the house," Xelloss said.

"S'all right, that's what sharing is all about. You did the same for me when I needed it," Zel said.

"You were sick, that was different. I'm just…worthless."

Zel walked over to the stove where Xelloss was stirring a pot of soup. He tentatively wrapped his arms around his friend and rested his head on his back. He could feel Xelloss stiffen at the close contact, but since he didn't shake him off, Zel held on. "To me you are the only thing worth getting up for," he whispered.

Xelloss snorted, "That's priceless, Zel!" Then he chuckled, "Hey, get it? I'm worthless and you're priceless! What a pair, huh?"

"Do you think so?" Zel asked. "That we could be a pair again?"

This time Xelloss started to giggle, "Well, we already are a couple of _fruits_, does that count as a 'pear'?"

Zel sighed. Xelloss was not going to touch on any serious topic, so he might as well just save his breath, Zel figured. "Yeah, it does for me. So, you eat early, go dance, shower, and crash again tonight?"

"Uh, huh, and the same again tomorrow, except that you add in the soccer game for breakfast. Sunday…I have the matinee, then IT'S ALL OVER!"

"Ah, unless we win the soccer game and go into the regional payoffs," Zel smirked. 

"Is that a threat? I am sooo limping onto that field tomorrow and playing the worst game ever," Xelloss teased. Zel knew that his friend had too much self esteem to mess up on purpose with so many people watching him-- that, and he was a show-off to boot.

"So…"

"So?"

"So, you look the part on stage. Your Asian heritage is accentuated by that outfit, especially getting the hair off you face so your eyes show up," Zel remarked. 

Xelloss poured some soup into a bowl for himself, tore off a hunk of bread and took it all to the table, "Care to join me?"

"Yeah, but I'll pass on eating until after I drop you at the play. I'll pick up Daemon and we'll eat together," Zel answered.

Zel checked the contents of the refrigerator for other edibles, "Ah, ha… Cheese? Apple? Sure… you'll eat _anything_…"

"Thanks for looking after Daemon so much lately, Zel. This has been a…hard thing for him to understand, you know," Xelloss said.

"Hard for me too, and you…I know…later…not tonight…Anyway, he's like my own little brother, now, Xelloss. I can't just turn my feelings on and off, and nor can he. Besides we have something important in common, that little guy and me," Zel smiled.

"Oh? What's that?"

"_You_. We are both in love with the same guy, whether he wants us to or not… whether I _deserve_ him or not…"

Xelloss stopped eating and stared at Zel. "You get what you deserve, and you deserve to be happy." He wouldn't elaborate and Zel wouldn't press him for more. At least they were talking, that was a start.

~~~~ 

The team trotted out onto the soccer field in a steady downpour. Xelloss was blinded by his long bangs, which when wet, covered his eyes completely. He subbed out after five minutes and tied an extra sock around his head as a sweatband. Two minutes after Xelloss was allowed back on the field, he scored the first goal. Ranma received a cross-goal pass soon after and scored the second goal. Gourry blocked both of the opponent's two attempts on goal and the first half was over. They were up two goals to nothing and feeling good!

The rain let up and was replaced by an icy cold wind. Not the worst conditions. That didn't happen until closer to the end, when it began to hail. And it did hail big time. The freak late-spring storm peppered the soccer field with two inches of pea-sized hailstones. 

Somehow, in the midst of the heaviest downpour, the opponents slipped two goals past their shaky defense. Zelgadiss's running speed was reduced to slow. The ball skidded and bounced unpredictably, and he was afraid of twisting an ankle. Xelloss missed two attempts on goal before Ramna finally blasted one past the goalie for a score of three-two. 

Gourry was having an awful time trying to see the ball and move on the slippery surface. Doug seemed listless and Zel had to remind him twice to stay in position and guard the goal. "I can't cover the whole field, dammit! It's like running on marbles!" Zel shouted angrily the last time the opponent's scored on them. The score was tied, three-all.

Doug yelled something back, but resumed his position near the goal. Zel heard the ref give the players a five-minute-to-game warning call. Great. Five more minutes to score then defend to the end. Zel stole the ball, dribbled around two players who had knocked each other down, and then as soon a he spied an opening, passed from the half-line to another mid-fielder in shooting position. 

**__**

Blast! The guy fell over, tripped by another player or the hail. Zel flew to retrieve the lost ball but an opponent got a foot on it and booted it into goal territory. Zel checked for Doug. The other defenders were there, one moving to Doug's position toward the ball. 

**__**

Where was _Doug_?! At the **half-line**? _What_ was he doing back _there_? Zel didn't think he'd be able to make it in time to protect the goal, but he'd have to try. What was _with_ Doug, anyway?

Gourry saw the ball speeding toward the goal, he launched himself to cover the left half, slipping in the loose hail and landing hard. He blocked the ball, but his elbow hit the ground so hard that he couldn't hold onto it. The ball bounced off his icy mitts, and back out toward the center. 

"Come on, Doug, boot it outta there!" Gourry shouted.

As Doug turned to see what was going on, the opposing center forward got off the goal-scoring kick, letting it fly over Gourry's feet into the right hand corner, before falling on his backsides and groaning. The kid was clutching his arm to his side in obvious pain. The ref blew the whistle and called for a replacement player. Gourry regained his footing, stepping gingerly on his left ankle, but waved off the sub from the sidelines.

"Doug, you not feeling well? Wanna go out for the last few minutes?" Gourry asked the glassy-eyed kid.

Doug shook his head, "No." 

The last few minutes played out quickly with no further scoring, giving the Seyruun High team a defeat and no chance for a championship position. Zel, for one, was relieved. Soccer in this weather was dangerous and he lacked heart to play any longer.

The scene in the locker room was unpleasant. The coach was livid at the poor team performance. He was indifferent to the terrible playing conditions or to the players' injuries. Gourry was taping up his ankle, while another guy was struggling with bandaging a friends knee. Ramna had a jammed thumb that was swelling and turning purple.

Doug was seated and staring down at his feet. His father tearing into his lack-luster performance. "You shoulda stopped that goal. You had three chance to do it!" the coach roared.

Zel felt sorry for the kid. Sure, he had messed up, but everyone had made their share of mistakes. He was about to say something, when Xelloss stepped to the front.

"If you have to blame someone, blame me! Any one of the attempts I'd made would have won it. I messed up. I didn't mean to, but I did!" Xelloss said. He stared at the coach hard, daring him to attack.

"You just couldn't decide what was more important, that damn play or the game. You're damn right it was your fault! You should have played last week and we woulda won that game. One more goal and we woulda been set! That's why I don't like having _fairy_ actors on _my _team. They got no _normal_ male drive to win!" the coach shouted. 

The locker room fell silent. Knowing that he's gone too far, the coach stormed out of the room without saying another word. 

Gourry hobbled over to Xelloss, who was shaking with a combination of reigned in fury and cold. 

Gourry tried to catch Xelloss' eye, then said, "He's wrong, we all know that. You didn't lose anything for the team. We all did, that's what a team is. We share the responsibility for the wins and the losses. Besides, without you and our other new players, we never woulda gotten so far or won as many games." Then he smiled and squeezed Xelloss' shoulder.

Zelgadiss was watching Doug as the emotional drama played out around them. The kid was on the verge of tears and clearly traumatized. 

"Doug? Need a ride home? Or…somewhere else?" Zel asked.

Doug looked up, mystified by Zel's show of concern. He couldn't speak, but he managed a curt nod. 

"Fine, then get your stuff and follow us out," Zel said. He tugged on Xelloss' sleeve to get his attention. "We're going and we're taking Doug out for lunch, okay?"

Xelloss said, "Whatever… eat, sleep, and the play—that's my plan."

Zel grabbed Gourry, "Can Daemon stay at your house a bit longer? Thanks, I'll pick him up after lunch and I drop off Doug."

Gourry gave Zel a questioning look.

"Giving him a lift home…" Zel added casually. Ride sharing—no big deal.

They grabbed hamburgers, fries, and shakes at a drive-thru and drove home. Doug said nothing until they reached the door to their small house.

"So…you guys really _do_ share a house?" Doug asked.

"Yeah," Xelloss sighed wearily. "I'll meet you in the sunroom, 'kay?" He covered to distance to the bathroom in five steps, then closed the door.

"That leaves me to do the tour," Zel smirked. "We're in the front room. That is the bathroom," he pointed to the side. "That is our room," he pointed dead ahead, "that is Daemon's room, his son," he pointed to the left, "and there's the kitchen and sunroom." 

They walked into the sunroom where Zel dropped the food onto the table and began sorting through his. 

"This is cool…" Doug said, cracking a smile. "No parents?"

He sat and opened a sack, looking for his food.

"That's right. Mine are dead. I have a grandfather, whom you've heard of, and Xelloss has a mother who travels a lot, but is currently living in town. Oh, this must be your shake, it's chocolate and mine is strawberry," Zel indicated the differently colored tops.

"Oh, yeah, thanks…" Doug made the trade. "It's small, but this room really makes the place great."

"Thanks! It was Zel's idea. We planned it and Gourry and his dad's construction company built it for us over spring break," Xelloss said joining the conversation as he sat down. "Starving…"

Doug ate, but watched both boys carefully.

Xelloss set down his burger and said at last, "Doug, I don't know what you know about gay men, but I'm not going to jump your bones or anything." He smiled then added, "I'm just too tired."

Doug blushed, then started laughing. Zel and Xelloss did too and it released some of the tension surrounding them.

Doug was the first to recover. "So you are…gay, I mean? I wasn't sure. You don't act…different or anything. And you have a _son_?"

"Yes. Daemon's six and I'm twenty. You can do the math. I was young and…being gay doesn't mean you're not capable of having sex with females; it just means you'd rather do it with males. And, to answer your next question, I don't have sex with Zel. He's my best friend and roommate. Anything else? Don't worry, I'll let you know if it's too personal."

"Shit, I know more about your personal life now than any other guys on the team," Doug smiled. He launched into his food for a while before saying anything else. "Um…sorry about the way I treated you at the beginning of the season."

Zel looked up over his sack, "I've been more concerned with how you've been treating yourself."

Doug froze, "What do you mean?"

"Drugs, Doug. I can recognize drug trouble starting. It really has begun to affect your play out on the field," Zel pressed. "There was a time not very long ago when I thought things could only get better when I could get my hands on some good dope. It only made me more depressed. The problems didn't solve themselves or go away. It took someone to help me find a new outlook on life, Xelloss here."

Doug shrugged, then nodded in silent agreement.

Xelloss leaned closer to Doug and asked, "Are you gay, Doug?"

Doug gasped with surprise, "N-no!" 

His expression changed to one of wretchedness. He raised his sorrowful eyes to Xelloss', then to Zel's and said, "But, my brother is…"

End. Ask Me, Again… Part 07.


	8. Part 8

****

Ask Me, Again

(This story is the third in the 'Remind Me, Now' series. It follows the 'Tell Me, Now' story.)

Disclaimer: This is a fan-based fiction based on characters I do not own the rights to. This is a male x male romance. If you don't like them, don't read this, please…

**Part 8**

* * *

Xelloss leaned closer to Doug and asked, "Are you gay, Doug?" 

Doug gasped with surprise, "N-no!"

His expression changed to one of wretchedness. He raised his sorrowful eyes to Xelloss', then to Zel's and said, "But, my brother is…"

He took a moment to say more. "My older brother told dad a few months ago… They had a big fight and he got kicked out of the house. He's okay…I meet him in secret. He's living with…his boyfriend's folks. I'm not, you know…but my dad thinks I might become one too if he treats me too soft. I don't like soccer, but I have to do sports or…he'll kill me."

Zel rubbed his shoulder gently, "Have you tried a sport where your father isn't coach? Something where he's not in constant judgement of your performance might be easier for you to enjoy."

Doug shook his head, "Like what?"

"Like…beginning fencing next fall instead of soccer, then join the team in winter. Both Gourry and I have done that, although I missed last winter. There's always new guys joining up, so you wouldn't be the only novice. And if your father doesn't think it's macho enough a sport, tell him Gourry's the team captain." Zel sat back and relaxed. It felt good to listen to someone else's problems for a change.

Doug said it sounded like a good idea and that he'd think about it. They finished eating and cleared the table, stuffing the sacks of greasy cardboard into the garbage.

"I'll drop Doug off at his place now. Do you want me to pick up Daemon on the way back, or will you still be here?" Zel asked.

"Oh…that's right…the musical…" Xelloss zoned out.

"Forget it, Xelloss," Zel chuckled. "You get some rest. I'll get Daemon and see to it that you get up in time for your next workout."

Xelloss smiled, a touch of familiar warmth returning to his eyes. "Thanks…" he said, then crashed on his bed.

Sunday morning, Zelgadiss crept out into kitchen and started breakfast. Xelloss would eat then go to his final performance. He hadn't mentioned any cast party this time, but Zel knew there would be one, and he hadn't been invited. Not that he had _wanted_ to go. He wished he'd been asked, though.

He mentally kicked himself for the umpteenth time. Why had he been so…stupid and messed up everything he'd had going with Xelloss? That entire Kagome thing was like a blur now. What had happened anyway? How had he even considered her…her and him…an item worth risking Xelloss over? Shit. What a blow to that guy's ego it must have been! Imagine, the high-level Mazouku who could have nearly any guy or girl eating out of his hand, having his little, dull boyfriend want to share him with a girl! Zel crushed the eggs in his fists and watched the mixed substance ooze from between his fingers and into the hot, buttered pan. Damn! Would he _ever_ forgive him?

"Oh… smells good," Xelloss said as he shuffled out of the bedroom. "I'll be out in a min." And he dipped into the bathroom to shower.

He looked, well…amazing, Zel thought. His beautiful, slick purple hair, till slightly damp, but combed neatly in place. He wanted so much to just reach out and touch it. They hadn't touched in a long time; a more than 'just friends' sort of touch. Zel swallowed his urges and pain, then set the plate of eggs and toast at Xelloss' spot at the table. "Um…about dinner tonight," Zel began.

"Oh, can you take care of Daemon with that? The cast party will probably go on for a bit, so don't hold it up for me," Xelloss said.

"Naturally," Zel answered. The look of disappointment and hurt etched across his face was so plain, that-- try as he like-- Xelloss couldn't miss it.

"I won't be much later," Xelloss added out of pity, Zel wondered.

Zel dropped hi friend off at the same spot he had before, wished him luck, then drove off before he broke down. What was with all the crying stuff! He hadn't even cried at his parent's funeral! Daemon was at Chuckie's for the afternoon, and Vurumagen was out on a business call, so Zel had either to go home and do homework or find someplace to go hang out. He went for a drive.

He drove for hours then parked and stared at the people walking around the university. It was as if he had become invisible in his misery. The chime from the clock tower awoke him to the fact that it was time to check on Daemon and get him home for dinner, or go out.

"Hello, Mrs. Gabriev. I'm here for Daemon. If you'd let him know I'm here and we'll be going out to dinner, just the two of us, please?"

Gourry's mother looked him over and shook her head. What had happened to that snobbish, insolent little boy? This one looked nearly the same, but also looked deeply troubled. "Why don't you just stay and have dinner with us? It's nearly ready and you know there's plenty and you're always welcome."

Zel started to say no, but found himself nodding and saying thank you, instead.

After tucking Daemon in for the night and promising him that his father would come in and say goodnight when he came home, Zel pulled out the large envelope placed in his keeping by Xelloss' orchestra teacher, turned on the light in the front room and picked up a book. When Xelloss came in an hour later, Zel was still staring at the same page.

"Still up?" Xelloss asked in a low voice.

Zel nodded and tilted his head toward the little boy's room, "Say goodnight to him first." He couldn't meet the other boy's eyes.

When Xelloss returned, Zel pushed the envelope across the low table and pointed to the couch. "There's something for you to sign in there."

Xelloss sighed and plopped down at the far end of the couch. "I'm dead on my feet, but…**we have to talk**."

Those deadly words.

Zel bit his bottom lip. "Ugh…Gods, here it comes. I will not start bawling. Take it like a man…" Zel repeated to himself.

He must have looked near to death, because Xelloss moved a little closer and gently rubbed his shoulder. Zel squeezed his eyes shut and said, "Please, if there were anyway to turn back time, I would. Believe me, I've been beating myself up trying to do just that, b-but…" Zel bit his lip again to stop it from trembling. "I-I'll do anything…ANYTHING… to get you to forgive me. Please, ask me, Xelloss to do something, to say something that might help. What? I couldn't hear you, ask me, again!" Zel pleaded.

Xelloss cleared his throat. "I…I said…it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that?" Zel cried. "First I freak you out with a bunch of 'I need you to be complete' crap, then I turn around and ask you to accept a girl into our lives! I am so freakin' stupid and…"

"It was my doing, the Kagome thing."

"Oh, come on…" Zel snapped bitterly.

Xelloss shifted uncomfortably and took a deep breath before going on. "I did freak out after you said that stuff about us being 'right' for each other. I freaked when I considered making a commitment to one person for…a long time. I-I had to …never mind… I called a colleague and told him to hook you up with someone. I went with you both a few times to ensure… This is hard to say… I used a Mazouku '_glamour_' thing on you two so you'd fall in love." He said the last line rapidly and turned to stare out the window into the darkness.

Zel sat mouth agape. Xelloss had done, what? He broke them up on purpose, but made Zel think he was totally responsible? Anger washed over his bleeding heart. "_Glamour thing_? Like a…_love potion_? You really expect me to believe you?"

Xelloss shook his head, "No, but it would be best for you if you did."

"Why **do** that to me?" Zel screamed, not caring who could hear him. "I've been dying for weeks thinking it was ALL my fault, when… Gods, Xelloss…why didn't you just tell me that you wanted to …play the field and not be tied to just me? "

"I didn't want to hurt you…"

"And you think I _haven't_ been hurting lately!" Zel was livid. He was holding back both tears and fists at this point.

"I thought that if you found you liked girls, you'd eventually find someone you'd be happy with and be free of me, without…" he chuckled humorlessly. "Without going through all of this. Now, I don't know what to do."

Zel sat and glared at his friend a moment, going over in his head what he was going to say next. "Well, I do. First, get off this couch. This is where I'm sleeping from here on out. And second…" Zel flung the envelope in Xelloss' face. "Take this and sign it. You… will go the try-outs here in Seyruun in a week or so. Then…your teacher is sure you'll be chosen to move on to the next level with a few other contestants, I presume, in England. You will. I'll stay with here, continue my lessons with Vurumagen and take care of Daemon. Then…if you move up to the next level, we'll meet you in the next place, Germany…whatever…and then visit Lina. We'll decide what to do from there-on-out…later."

Xelloss looked at Zelgadiss with an air of wonderment. When did _he_ grow a backbone?

"You are not going to just up and disappear on me, or take Daemon from me. Do you understand!" Zel practically hissed through clenched teeth.

Xelloss nodded, "Of course not…I'll keep you informed of my whereabouts at all times. Okay…I'll do the violin contest thing and attempt to stay out of your hair."

Zelgadiss gave him a curt nod, then added, "And one more thing, don't you ever try and manipulate me with Mazouku mind skills again, got that!"

Xelloss nodded and took the envelope. He walked briskly to his bedroom and closed the door.

Now what? Zel was shaking so hard his teeth chattered. He had to get out of there! He slammed the front door on his way out, climbed into his car and roared out of the neighborhood. After cruising the streets for fifteen minutes, he found that he'd stopped in front of Gourry's house. The lights were all on so he knew someone was still up.

"Why, hello, Zelgadiss," Mrs. Gabriev said as she opened the door. "Kind of late to be out, isn't it?"

It wasn't until he stepped into the light a bit closer, that she saw his tortured expression. Here was a boy in need of a mother. "Oh, come on in you'll freeze out there tonight. It may almost be summer, but tonight it's winter again." She was saying as she hustled Zel into the kitchen and prepared him a hot chocolate.

Someone came into the kitchen, one of the girls, but Zel didn't see, his head was buried in his arms on the table. "Go tell Gourry to come down when he's out of his shower…and tell the others to stay out," Mrs. Gabriev said resolutely.

She passed behind his chair to set down the steaming mug, then decided to pull up a chair beside his. He fell into her lap, wrapping his arms around her. She held onto to him like one of her own precious children and patted his back as he cried out his heartache. He cried for his lost mother, his lost love, his lost home, his losses that were overwhelming his ability to cope anymore…alone.

He cried until he could cry no more, then Mrs. Gabriev picked up a kitchen towel, ran it under the cold faucet and returned to wiped off his face.

"Just hold this over your eyes and the puffiness will go away faster," she advised.

He did.

"Now, I'm going to tell you some things. The kinds of things your mother would have said to you, because I knew her quiet well and know that she would have," she said. Zel sat and looked at his hands.

"Whatever's going on, I want you to remember something, something important: what we call 'love' doesn't last that long. I'm sure in the beginning, both you boys thought it was going to be perfect forever, that it was all going to be perfect in every way, and in the beginning, it _is_. That's what is called 'infatuation'. We ignore the flaws, and turn a blind eye to the problems.

"That time in a relationship doesn't last long, however, and eventually there comes the unavoidable time when all the gushing is over, _and_ _if_ it was more than just 'lust', then you find that you like and respect each other. Mr. Gabriev and I haven't been 'in love' for years, not like trembling teenagers. But he likes me, and I like him. We have fun together. We respect each other. And more importantly, neither one of us takes anything less than we deserve from one another. He has never broken his marriage vows to me, and I've never done it to him. You can overlook faults and bad habits, everyone has them and everyone make mistakes. Those you have to forgive and forget about.

"But when one of you _deliberately _does something that they know will hurt the other, then it's time to rethink everything. It's time for you to decide what direction to take, how to conduct yourself with respect, and how to take control of you own future. Don't just look at what you might lose if the other one is gone. Think about what's inside _you _that might be lost if you don't take the opportunity to choose your own path. It's not being selfish to do that. _Never_ take less than you deserve."

Zel was able to breathe normally by the time Gourry lumbered into the kitchen. His mother rose and spoke to her son privately, "He's in a very bad state right now. Try and listen and help him."

Gourry nodded as much to say 'of course I will, you know that!', "Um, Zel? Let's go to my dad's office. It's private in there…"

Zel shuddered and fell in behind his tall friend, the only one he could talk to now…

He told Gourry what he could. He told him that he and Xelloss were…over, but not the whole story why. He just said that Xelloss wasn't interested in commitments. Then Zel made a decision. He was going to tell Gourry the big secret. "Grab your coat. Let's go for a short drive," Zel demanded.

Gourry waited until they were in the car before asking, "So…where are we goin'? It's kinda late, ya know?"

"We're getting you a passport."

"Oh? What for, Zel?"

"You are going with me …to see Lina this summer," Zel answered.

"Oh…that's kinda expensive and I gotta work," Gourry began.

"Don't worry, your folks will let you go and I'll pay for it."

"I don't know…I mean, I really do miss Lina…"

"Gourry, I'm going to tell you something. I should have told you the truth from the start, but I was convinced that it wasn't my business. But now…Lina…isnotjuststudyinginFrance…" Zel blurted out in a rush of words.

"She's not? Boy, Luna's gonna be mad when she finds out," Gourry sighed.

"Gourry…" Zel parked in front of an all-night tattoo, body piercing, and passport photo place. "Lina's there to have a baby…your baby."

"M-My…" Gourry stopped. The shock had drained his face of all color.

Zel explained that Lina and Xelloss had made an arrangement of convenience. "She keeps her secret and he keeps the profits."

"No…she wouldn't do that! He wouldn't just…sell my…our baby," Gourry croaked with anguish filling his soft kind eyes.

"She doesn't want to mess up your life, Gourry. You're both too young to marry and raise a child; you can see that! And your parents! Gods, Gourry, it would _destroy_ them," Zel said. He had to get Gourry to understand Lina's point of view. She was not the enemy here. No one was really.

Gourry was shaking his head. "I can't let some…stranger take over my responsibility.

"That's…" Zel smiled faintly and place a hand firmly on Gourry's arm. "That's where I come in. I am going to adopt the baby when it's born."

"_What?"_

"I'm Mazouku now and Xelloss' equal in many ways. This is one of those ways, I've been assured. My shaman master might help me make the arrangements. It was just a thought I had one day, but it wasn't until tonight that I'd made up my mind to actually do it and include you in my plan."

Gourry shook his head. "I'm havin' a hard time with all of this. You can adopt…our baby and raise it?"

"Until you and Lina figure out what you want to do in life. I'll call myself the baby's 'uncle' and turn him or her over when the time is right," Zel answered.

"Y-you'd do that…for me?" Gourry asked, eyes watering.

"Hey, right now, you're the only friend I've got and…I want to prove how important that friendship is to me… that….and I think it's the right thing to do," Zel squeezed Gourry's arm.

"Come on, let's get that photo. Then, I'll drive over to the shrine. The shrine antechamber is always open and I know where the passport forms are. We'll have everything done tonight and your passport ought to be in the mail by the end of the week. France? Well…that will be in July, I think. I'll take care of the tickets and let you know. Tell your parents that it's all for my 'healing' process and I'm sure you'll have no problem getting free for a week or so. We'll need to sign some papers and make the final arrangements…for fall…"

Gourry nodded, "Zel, I can't believe all this…thanks…"

"Yeah, well…save all that for later, when it's all over," Zel said. "Then you can ask me …if it was the right thing to do…again and again…"

He looked into Gourry's haunted eyes and added, "Because, I'm not sure what's right any more. I thought that Xelloss and I were 'right'. But now…just say it, Gourry. I know you'll say it, sometime… so just get it over with and say it!"

"Say what, that Xelloss was a mistake? Zel, I'm not one to judge you guys. Not me…I think he was the best thing that ever happened to ya…and the worst."

* * *

This story continues in the sequel called 'Say It, Sometime'. 

End. Ask Me, Again Part 8.


End file.
